"Shouldn't of let you go" •L.S•

"Its been 4 years Lou"

I was heading of to bed as I'm in London and my sister is stopping with me for the week even though the week is near to the end I have enjoyed every single little bit off it I loved my sister she's my best friend I can talk to her about anything if I feel down about my ideas for my next album.

Me and gems had just finished watching stranger things for the night and I'm dead tired I never new how tired I could get and guess this is it,
I start to walk up my staircase witch there is so much fucking steps it's unreal that's why I wish just some times I can go live in a normal house where there's not so many steps when I'm drunk and walking up these stairs it isn't the great
combo I'll give you that.
So I get to the top of the stairs and I decide to unlock my phone and just have a look around on my socials when I get a call from
'Lou🐻' wow that hurt not the fact that he's calling me it just seeing him on my phone call I'm abit happy actually but angry as well because after he broke up with me I was still there for when his mum died but after that we just left each other
And I was devastated I just couldn't get my head around not being around my Lou-bear.

Uh what am going to do like if I decline the call I will probably regret it but then it might be a good thing like I was getting over him right.

That's a lie.
But if answer theres so many ways this could go wrong, so I answer and hear the voice I haven't heard in 4 years.

It was silent for a second but then he spoke that voice,
"Hi mm how are you" wow really he's drunk honestly I'm not surprised but what do I say I can't just ignore the fact that I haven't seen nor spoke to him for years.
"Lou-Louis why are you calling me?"
Shit just great I called him Lou wow well now I hope he is drunk
"Haaarrry I'm sorry iiii shouldn't of callled I'll gooo"
Yep he's drunk but at the moment I look like I'm drunk I nearly just fell down the stairs from him and if I broke a bone he will be the one to blame.

I dint want him to go so I told him no like a whisper but I new he heard me but first I talk to I need him sober.
"Louis listen to me where are you" I said hopping he tell me.
"I'm in a puuuub it's banging"
Wow yep this going to be harder then I thought.
"Well who are you with"
"I'm with little sis lott-lottie"
Your probably wondering why I'm worried well when Louis calls someone like he hasn't spoke to in a while like me he will have a break down and I'm probably a weirdo for remembering how he acts but I just can't for get the man
He's my everything.
"Well can you get her and pass the phone for me"
Now I'm really hope he listens to me though because if you don't know Louis here's a fact he's so stubborn it's unreal.
I start walking to my room so I can actually try and calm my nerves.
"Okay she's here"
He says and I here the soft hello come out through the phone.
"Hi Lottie it's Harry I know tour wondering why I'm on the phone but I think Louis needs to go home"
Lottie I can trust her and she doesn't even sound drunk she was always the responsible little one out of the five of them.
"Omg Harry well it's been a while mm yea I think I was going to take him back any way"

"Good just take care of him will you last time he rang zayn and it ended him in tears but i was there and I don't want him to get upset so take care with him and tell him call me tomorrow will ya see you around love"
And with that Lottie said her goodbyes and know I'm alone in my bed I should of told him it's been 4 years but I guess I'll have to tell him that tomorrow.

Louis

I woke the next morning to a fucking massive head ache I swear I dint have loads right oh god I hope i dint post anything on any of my socials I quickly crab my phone witch was a mistake because now my heads in a even more of a mess then 5 minutes ago I have a look around nothing so I put my phone down and soak back into the warmth at least I haven't text any t like I have done in the past or I will be in shit.

10 minutes later and Lottie comes in with a normal face no sign of a hangover and I'm jealous.
"Here Moran take these and I need to talk to you"
She said handing me the two pills and sitting on the edge of my bed I swallow the pills and take a sip from the cold water if I was to say it wasn't refreshing I would be lying, now I was starting to get nervous Lottie was giving me a look that I don't really like.
"So what's up lotts"
"Well first do you remember anything from last night" she says while looking right into my eyes
"No... oh god what did I do"
"Mm you rang Harry lou and yea"
Oh fuck I guess I spoke to soon that's the source thing I could of done I dint text him I rang him like what is wrong with me the last time I did that was when me and the lads (Harry ,Niall and Liam) went to a club in La around 2015 and we just out there for some fun after zayn left and we needed to let go and me and zayn did not get but me being me I rang him got myself in shit luckily Harry was sober and took my phone and sorted it out but me and zayn still from this day aren't talking I don't see us talking any time in the future, I remember just crying in Harry's arms while he stroked my hair.

I started getting very panicky again and Lottie grabbed my hands and calmed me down I was nervous what he might of said on the phone was he angry I'll guess if I want to now I'll have to ask Lottie.
"What did he say?"
I ask with a very worried look on my face.
"Actually he sounded quite concerned I obviously dint know what you said to him or why he said to you but when you passed the phone to me he wanted you to go home and...."
What really I feel like she's lying but Lottie would never lie about this.
"And what" I ask we a bit of confusion and a lot of nerves going through my body.
"He said he wants you to call him in the morning and it's up to you but I think you should I can tell you that you never really got over him"
She says and hands me my phone that I placed on my bedside table 5 minutes ago
"Just have a think ok"
And she's gone all my thoughts disappear it's weird and know I'm scrolling through my contacts to find him see I know he will be a wake because it's like 12 in the after noon and he was always up before 8 when we were together ahh great I swear I just remind myself with these memories I don't want them to be memories any I want them to come true so I can feel like a teen all loved up like I use to be.

I click on it and there's the voice and my mind is shocked his voice is abit deeper but still hot...
I mean no I just ahh.

Harry

Finally I get to chill me being me I decided to got to the gym witch I think is a mistake see when I ever thought of Louis or flashbacks would come to my mind I would let of the nerves by going to the gym and it helps but this time it dint and I also just went to ignore his call,

I'm currently sat on my couch scrolling through Netflix I honestly I have no idea we're my sister is but she's probably on a walk and I don't blame her I just wish I could do that with out getting a swarm of teenage girls following me don't get me wrong I love my fans there's no words to describe how nice they are but sometimes there just to much.

I finally pick a movie the grinch yes it's not Christmas but I just like it because the grinch is inspiring don't ask why I just love him I pressed play but then my phone rang I dint look at the caller ID because I just thought it would be gems wanting a lift.

"Gems what u want now?"
And I was very wrong
"Oh no it's Louis I'm sorry for last night"
Great now my brains going a million Miles an hour
What am going to say should I be angry, sad or happy.

"No it's fine mm why did you decide to call me it's been 4 years Lou.
Oh great Lou yep I'm done I'm going to hide myself under a rock and never return.

"I'm sorry I was drunk and I well I don't know...
I miss u haz"
The shock in my face said it all what do I say yea I fucking miss this man so much but he broke my heart he left I and never called.

"Louis were are you"
I ask hoping he's Either in London or Doncaster so we can at least talk this out I'm never one to talk on the phone.
"Im in Donny"
"Well I'm in London do you want to meet up at a coffee shop"

I ask hoping we can meet half way I need to see my Lou.

"Yea"