Just Too Sick To Function

11

Emma's POV:

The rest of the week were almost the same.

Treatments, schedules, meds, hospital beds, doctors but there are also moments, pictures and more sunsets

'Yon lang 'yon, hindi naman ako nagrereklamo.

Weekends na ngayon, at nandito si Clent sa hospital, nandito siya sa harapan ko.

He rarely comes here 'pag weekdays, busy yan.

It's already afternoon, nagtataka parin kung ba't hindi ako naka feel ng pagod

Naglalaro kami ngayon ng cards

"Ahaaa, talo ka!!!", I said

"Whatever, let's do something else, napapagod na akong mag cards", he suggested

"Ikaw? May gusto kabang gawin?", I asked while I poured water into my glass

Uminom ako galing sa baso.

He was thinking about what to do

"What about...", kumilos siya patungo sa drawer ko

Nag observe lang ako sa kanya habang nag-iinom ako ng tubig

Hawak na niya ang sketchbook ko, "what about you...", bumalik siya sa kanyang inuupuan, "you draw me"

I held the glass of water away from my mouth

Binuksan niya yung sketchbook ko, nag scan siya sa mga drawings

Naalala ko palang may painting ako ni Marcus sa sketchbook na 'to

Kaya binawi ko kaagad 'yon, nabigla siya sa nagawa ko, "Hoy, may problema ba?", tanong niya

I closed the sketchbook and held it close to me, "No, it's just that, Im not that good Clent"

"O hindi kaya may tinatago ka sa'kin?", he asked in a very suspicious way

"What are you talking about Clent?"

"Is it about Marcus, may something ba dyan na about kay Marcus?", seryoso niyang tanong

Mayghad, kinakabahan ako

There was a brief silence

Tumawa siya, "HAHAHAHA sorry hindi ko kinaya, you should see your face, shit, it's funny"

Gago, nilalaro ba ako sa gagong 'to?

Hinampas ko ang sketchbook ko sa kanya, "Bwesit ka, lumayas ka nga dito, gago ka", galit na galit kong sabi

"I don't understand kung ba't sinasabi mo paring 'di ka magaling, hindi ka ba na impress sa mga ginagawa mo?", he uttered

"It's not that", I said as I put the sketchbook on my chair

"Then what seems to be the problem?"

"Ahh basta, wala akong confidence", I paused, "You know what they say, no matter how good you are, if you don't have confidence, then how can you show them your best? Dba?"

He gave me a -yeah, you're right- look

"Kaya nga i draw mo ako", kumilos siya para kunin na naman yung sketchbook

Dali-dali naman akong kumilos para agawin sa kanya

This boy's a tease

"Akin na! Akin na sabi!", and then he laughed

Nang na sa mga kamay ko na ang sketchbook, binigyan ko siya ng
masamang tingin.

"Anyways, kumusta ba results mo sa exams?", I asked as I sat