Just Too Sick To Function

19

Clent's POV

It's Marcus' Birthday today and Emma's been forcing me to go there since yesterday night

What can I do but just go?

The problem is my mom, exams are happening next week baka advance study na naman

But seriously, I'm getting kinda tired of this lifestyle, it's like I'm not free to make my own choices when I am supposed to be raised just like that

"Hon, let's have breakfast na, we'll be late", rinig kong sigaw ni mama sa labas ng room ko

Inayos ko nalang yung buttons sa uniform ko at lumabas.

"Hey ma, birthday ni Marcus ngayon and--", I started off pero she cut me off

"Oh tapos ano?", she asked

"And Emma keeps on forcing me to go there, can I?", I asked her

Tumingin siya sa'kin at binatawan ang hawak niyang cellphone, "Oh si Emma lang naman ang nagpumilit sayo, hindi si Marcus"

"Marcus probably told her"

"Probably?"

"C'mon Ma", forcing her

"Son, exams mo pa next week, you need to---"

"What? Study na naman?", I cut her off, "I already did advance reading and advance solving, nag review pa nga ako kagabi"

"Kahit na, you still have to, para ma maintain mo yang position mo, chismis na naman yang mga tao? Pinabayaan ka naraw namin pag mawawala ka sa position mo, kami na naman masama"

Huh?

"Wait", I let out a small laugh, "is this what this is all about?"

"What?", she asked and sips from her tea

"Hindi niyo gustong masabihang pinabayaan niyo ako?"

"Oo, what's wrong with that?"

I don't know what to say

Lumabas ako ng tawa

"Bakit anak?"

I hate it, I hate how she's acting that she doesn't know anything

I stood from where I sat

I know what I'm about to do is not good but I just can't help it, I felt so pathetic realizing it only now. I always think of what they did was only for my own good, I always think positively of how they treat me

"Yon ang problema sa inyo ma, you don't know about my mental state, you don't care about it, all you care is your reputation"

"What are you talking about, son?", curiousity in her voice

"Never mind", I left the table and walked out to get my things

But she stopped me, "It was for your own good son", with that serious tone

"Yeah, that's what I thought", I looked back at her, "pero narinig mo ba ang sarili mo? Yung reputasyon niyo lang po inaalala niyo. Wala kayong paki kahit mamamatay na ako sa pagsa-study, you can't even say that I should go rest or something"

My voice is shaking and I am nervous, I am afraid of what I'm doing.

Speechless siya sa mga sinasabi ko