Just Too Sick To Function

12

Marcus' POV:

Me knowing that my disease is getting nowhere but worse

Mas naging mahirap sa'kin magmahal

"You give me hope"

Pero kahit sobrang pagpipilit ko sa sarili ko na i-wala na yung feelings ko para kay Emma

Babalik at babalik parin, mahirap kasi pwede ko na siyang makikita araw-araw

"So I drew Clent today", pinakita niya sa'kin yung drawing niya

Nandito kami sa roof top, ang ganda ng sunset

Medyo malamig nga lang, syempre nandito kami sa itaas ng building

"It's beautiful", I commented

"No, it's not", she said out of embarrassment, "I'm no good"

"Hey, you did great , it's really amazing Ems"

"Not sure, hindi ako magaling pag purely sketch lang, more on painting kasi ako eh"

"Well, you should master on what you are good at", I suggested

"Yeah, I should", she paused, "But sometimes, I just want to experience new things, try things that I've never done before"

She wants explore, and that is something attractive about her

I just looked at her, listening to what she has to say

"It's fun to try things that seems impossible for me," she paused and faced me, "you know, like dancing, gymnastics, just some things that I'll probably do freely if only I'm not sick"

I just listened to her

"I wanna live big , travel the world, I want to experience things"

No, there were no tears... yet

"Like falling in love again without the fear of the thought that maybe..",

Tears, tears fell

"Maybe they'll leave me or I'll leave them, leave them in a way that someday, I'll just..", she paused, "I'll just die"

She closed her eyes and tears fell continuously

She's gorgeous when she cries, she's like an angel

With the sunset that gave orange kiss to her beautiful face gave me goosebumps as her tears fell like diamonds.

I was quiet for awhile, not really sure what to say.

"You know, I surely want that too. Because somehow, relationships make life worth living. Not just with someone but a relationship also with your family, friends, and even with yourself"

And then she looked at me

"Pero takot ako Marcus", she uttered

"Yeah, I am too Ems", I said, "I am scared too and that's the problem, our hearts get scared easily", I paused and looked at the sunset, "That's why sometimes, you just need to play with it, play tricks, say that it's all gonna be fine"

"But we don't get chances like the ones we could have when we were just normal kids, no limitations, no bounderies"

"We are normal Ems", I catch a glimpse of her, "and ofcourse we do get chances, everyday, we just have to figure out how to you know, make use of it correctly because you're right, we now have limitations to everything we do"