All For You (Yandere Yamaguchi x Reader)

Escape? [23]

• • •

I...
I feel...
Normal.

No more voices.
It's peaceful.
I like it here.
I feel fine.

What caused all the ruckus in my head?
Why was it happening?

...

The pill?
What was in it?
It made me feel funny.
Was it the pill?
Was it the pill that caused the voices?
That caused my clingy ness?
No.
Wait.
Yes?
I'm confused.

All I know is that I've made a mistake.
I was a fool.
A fucking imbecile.
Why did I start to fall for him?

Why did I take the pill?
Am I that gullible?
Am I that clingy?
Am I that delusional?

Why did I believe he loved me?
Why did I believe his lies?
Why did I believe him?

He doesn't love me.

If he loved me he wouldn't of hurt me.
If he loved me he wouldn't of hurt everyone.
If he loved me he wouldn't of killed.

I hate him.
No.
I love him.
Wait what?
Why would I love him?
I'm supposed to hate him,
Be disgusted,
Revolted,
And grossed out.
But what are these feelings?

But he's my friend right?
Am I suppose to have these feelings with friends?

I had these feelings with Kei and he's my friend.
I thought it was love.
But now I have these feelings for him.
Why?
Is it a platonic love?

Am I allowed to love?

...

No I don't think so.
I don't deserve it after what I've done.

...

Where is he anyway?
Has he gone off the edge?
Off into the deep spiral of insanity?

Heh...

I have too haven't I?
We all must succumb to the insanity sometimes.
The little voices telling us what to do.
The ones in the back of our head.
The way back of ours heads.
The impulsive ones.
The clingy ones.
The anxious ones.
The greedy ones.
The murderous ones.
The insane ones.
We all have our demons right?
Is it wrong to listen to them sometimes?
To take a break from upholding our status and listening to the angel on our shoulder?

Is it wrong to listen to one of the seven deadly sins?

The envy that resonates within your heart?
The sloth that hangs over your head like a cloud?
The greed that wracks your brain, craving for more?
The pride that clouds your vision?
The lust that gets you off your rocker?
The gluttony that sits in your stomach, hungry?
The wrath that takes over your soul and mind?

Is it wrong to give in?

Why am I like this?
I don't feel myself.
But I am myself.
I feel normal, yet different.