After All

Chapter 21: We Have Lift Off

Jamie texted me when he was landing and gave me a rough time estimate of when he expected to come over. He said he wanted to go home and shower and change, and he had an errand to run on the way. And he made his intentions clear, "Baby, I am staying the night because we need to talk and I've missed you like crazy, but there will be no sex. So quit worrying about it."

He really is too sweet. Part of me is grateful, but the other part of me worries about pushing him away. I have to figure out a way to get over my insecurities. They are mine, not his and I don't want to punish him for his past that didn't include me or for how other men cheated on me. My wheels are spinning. I'll take tonight and let us get back in the same space, and I'll see what my brain says tomorrow.

Consequently, I am wearing my cat footie pajamas when he knocks on my door. I have the hood up, complete with ears and whiskers. I open the door with a shy smile and he barks out a laugh, "Well aren't you the prettiest kitty I've ever seen!"

He turns sideways to push through the door because he is carrying the most enormous bouquet in a beautiful Tiffany vase. He sets it down gently on my counter and turns to take me in his arms. He is being very soft with me as he pulls me in for a deep kiss. He takes a breath just to push my hood back and take my head in his hands, "I want to feel your hair." Then he leans in to kiss me again, a bit harder this time, and I feel myself melting as I clutch at his shoulders.

When he breaks off again, he kisses my forehead and leads me to a bar stool and sits me down facing the huge floral arrangement he brought me. He wraps one arm around my shoulders from behind as he leans in close to murmur in my ear. "Now love, I want you to pay close attention to the flowers I've selected." As he points them out one by one, he explains their meaning to me. "These are heliotrope. They signify eternal love and devotion." He kisses the top of my head, "I'm yours forever, love. And I will be devoted to you." He points again, "These are daffodils. They represent unequaled love. I want you to know I've not felt for anyone else anything that is remotely as compelling, as deep, or as terrifying as what I feel for you." His finger moves again, "These here are bluebells, and this is ivy - both indicate constancy and fidelity."

My tears are starting to roll and he turns the bar stool around so he could see me face to face, "Baby, if I didn't cheat WITH you, I'll most certainly not cheat ON you. I know you're squeamish, and I understand why. And I'm willing to put in the time to get you to trust me. I'm not going anywhere, with or without the sex. I am yours and yours alone."

I jump into his arms with a hiccup and squeeze him tight around his neck. I can't help but cry against him. He just holds me tight and rocks me gently, saying nothing, seeming to know I just need to collect myself. I mutter near his ear, "Thank you for the most beautiful flowers with the most powerful sentiment I have ever received."

I feel him grin against me, "You're most welcome, love. I paid attention to what you said. See, I learn! When I know something is important or meaningful to you, I make note of it and ensure that I deliver on those things."

I pull back just enough to hold his face in my hands and look him in the eyes, "Jamie, I love you. Very much. I've loved you for years, and I fear that I will love you forever – whether this thing between us works out or not."

He smiles at me and kisses my nose, "I'm glad to hear it, love. And this 'thing' as you call it, WILL work out. I'll make sure of it, because I'm never letting you go." To lighten the moment, he reaches around to tug on my kitty tail, "As cute as this is, I don't think it's going to be comfortable to sleep in. Why don't we both get changed and hit the sack. To sleep. Just sleep."

I can't help but giggle, "You're so right. This is so adorable, but there is no way I can sleep in it." I take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. He moves to the closet, where he keeps his clothes and I head to my bureau to pull out one of his V-neck t-shirts that conveniently hits me mid-thigh, and a pair of his panties, excuse me, briefs.