After All

Chapter 6: Continental Divide

Thanks to Daddy and his jet(s), the trip to Ibiza was effortless. I put on my game face to meet clan Martin and settled into a comfortable pattern of spending time with the kids and enjoying nice dinners out. The kids and I did, indeed, build an epic sandcastle, two actually. Chris and I took many a walk and had a lot of talks. It's my last afternoon here and we're walking on the beach. He reaches over to take my hand, "So what's next? I sense you are on the precipice of something and I need to know how to support you."

I stop and turn to face him, taking both of his hands in mine. "That's just it. I need to do this on my own. I have used you as a crutch and support, and I need to learn how to be on my own."

He shakes his head and grips my hands, "You don't. It's not a sin to need friends. It's not a crime to seek companionship."

I resume walking. "I know that. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my friend and loyal companion, but I need to take steps towards what I want in my life."

"Jamie?"

I snort, "God no. That's a lost cause. But it has taught me that I want a committed and loving relationship with someone, and eventually, I want a family. I can't move toward that if I stay in this very comfortable, yet romantically absent situation."

He reaches over to take my hand as we continue to stroll. "I'll always be here for you, you know that, right?"

I lift his hand and kiss the back, "Yes, I do know that. And I love you for it. Likewise, I'll always be here for you."

He returned the gesture with a kiss to my hand. "So, what now?"

A deep sigh escapes my chest, "Well, we have a great last dinner and then I fly to Vancouver to settle in before my next project."

"And you start dating?"

I nod, "Hopefully. I'm not going to rush it, but I am going to try to leave myself open to opportunities."

He takes both of my hands and stops me, looking deeply into my eyes. "Don't be careless. It's one thing to be open, it's another thing to be risky. Keep Della and Ted close and trust them. And background checks are always a good idea."

I laugh out loud at that. He sounds like Daddy.

He grips my hands tighter, but smiles at me. "Love, you are young, beautiful, and sexy. You're smart and talented. You're rich. And forgive me for saying so, but you are vulnerable and a bit naïve. You are ripe for a Lothario and I don't want that for you." He shakes my hands again, "Please be smart and be safe."

My smile is genuine as I lean up to kiss him one last time, "I will. Thank you for the counsel."

***

Our last dinner was a fun and festive event, even if Gwyneth felt the need to advise me on future projects. As the evening winded down, I made my way to the ladies' room. As I was washing my hands, a familiar face walked in and she looked as surprised to see me as I was to see her.

She rushed over, "Dakota! So lovely to see you!" She eyed me up and down, "Lord, you look stunning. Are you here with the Martins?"

I smiled a bit stiffly as I dried my hands. "Hello Amelia, you look wonderful as well." And dammit, it was true. "Yes, I'm here with Chris and the kids. My last night. Leaving tomorrow for work in Vancouver."

She must see the hunted look in my eyes, because she reaches over to touch my arm gently. "Jamie isn't here. He left for Belfast yesterday. The girls and I extended our stay."

I nod politely, "Well, enjoy your stay."

She doesn't touch me, but she calls out as I aim for the door. "We're getting divorced, Dakota. I filed a month ago."

I stop in my tracks and dip my head. "I'm so sorry, Amelia. I wouldn't wish a divorce on anyone."

She talks gently, "He was absolutely tormented when he returned from Toronto. We haven't been a couple for a long time, but seeing his pain, and him realizing he couldn't survive in his current rut forced me to take the bull by the horns and get us both out of this."

I raise teary eyes to hers, "You filed. You took the bull by the horns. He did nothing." I shake my head and let the tears roll down my face and look at her one last time, "I think you know this, but I need to say it. Nothing ever happened between me and Jamie. He didn't cheat on you. I'm sorry your marriage is ending, but please don't think I'm a part of it."

She reaches out to take my hands in hers, "But you are. He loves you, Dakota. He's loved you for years. He tried his best to make our marriage work, and it just didn't because you have his heart. And I love him enough to let him go. He would never leave me and the girls. It's not in his makeup. I had to be the one to cut the ties. And I am at peace with that. I want him to be happy, and I think the only way that is going to happen is if he is with you."

She backed away from me with a small smile, "Please don't put your security on him again. It about killed him." She left the room with a wave and I sank onto a settee to catch my breath. What the hell just happened here?

Goddam him for throwing drama into my head right when I was all in a 'one step at a time' mode. I pause and think, although, he didn't actually do or say ANYTHING. His soon-to-be ex-wife did. Is she Gwyneth 2.0? God, what is it with me and men with crazy exes?!

I shake my head and cackle to myself. Now what? Not a damn thing. I'm moving on with my plan. Step by step. Day by day. There is no way in hell I'd reach out to him. He didn't even tell me he was getting divorced, which, by the way, wouldn't even be happening if Amelia didn't have the balls to force the issue. He might love me, but not enough to do anything about it.

I deserve better. I deserve and WANT a strong man, someone who will stand by me, support me, fight for me, never let me go. As much as I love Jamie, I just don't think that is him.

***

I deplane in Vancouver and find Della and Ted waiting for me with big smiles. I rush forward to hug them both. I've missed them. Once in the car, Della probes, "So, how was Ibiza."

I smirked at her, "Informative."

She raises her eyebrows, "Do tell."

I commence filing my nails, "Well, I ran into none other than Amelia Dornan in the ladies' room my last night." Della gasped, but held her tongue. "She informed me that she filed for divorce. She said Jamie was too honorable to do it himself and she loved him enough to let him go."

There is silence in the car for a solid minute "Okay. So, how do you feel about that?"

I turn a sharp gaze to her, "You don't seem surprised, Dell."

She keeps her gaze focused out of the window, and doesn't even try to deny it. "I've known for a couple weeks. I wanted you to be in a stronger and better head space before sharing it with you." She reached over to take my hand, "And you are. So now, how do you feel about it?"

I grip her hand and look out my own window, "I think he's a wuss. If she hadn't pulled the plug, he'd be married to her for life."

She stroked a thumb over the back of my hand, "Baby, he has children. That complicates things."

I turn to her with a hard stare, "I'm well aware, Della. Every time he left me, he went home and made a new baby. I wouldn't be shocked at all if Amelia was carrying again after our Toronto fiasco."

She scoffs at me, "Honey, that's not exactly fair."

I throw my hands up and raise my voice. "None of this is fair, Della. None of it. Nothing has been fair for years. Now that his wife dumped him, am I just supposed to sit and wait for him to call me? I don't fucking think so. He's had years. Years, Della. I've been hurt and sad for so long, but now I'm just goddam irate. Thank God he's in Belfast because I swear to Lucifer if he was in Canada, I'd sic Ted on his sorry Irish ass."

She chuckles, "Deep breath, honey, deep breath. Let's take this a day at a time, a step at a time. Be mad. Then you need to get your ass over it and move on."