After All

Chapter 37: Wheee...and Woe

I went through the box Mary left me and it was a little overwhelming at first because there were piles of bridal and wedding magazines, a planning list that may as well have been a phone book it was so damn long. At the bottom I found a note from Mary – Dakota, my best suggestion is to throw this box out. Don't overthink it. Given you and Jamie want a pretty quick turnaround, just focus on the basics: set a date, pick a dress, figure out what kind of food, flowers, and music you want, and a photographer. And remember, you have me and Chad to help with everything. Just give those big items some thought and then we'll help get it all put together. My blood pressure immediately dropped and when I saw how she signed it, I cracked up, Your bitch, Mary.

The first thing I did was pick up the phone to call Scott and make sure the offer to use his ranch still stood. He almost busted my ear drum when he shouted in excitement, "MADS! They decided to do it here! YES!" Then he came back to me very calmly, "Sure Daks, that would be great. We'd love to have it here. Madison and I were hoping you would. Have you talked dates?"

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Jamie is insistent that we do this within three months."

Scott chuckled, "Wow. Boy wants to lock it down. I don't blame him. Alright, I'm looking at three months from now, looking, looking...I only see two weekends that aren't available." We chat it out and I thank him profusely, letting him know I'll try to confirm a date within a week.

My next order of business was to call Della and ask her to set up a call – tomorrow - with me, her, Jamie (still in Vancouver), Mary and Chad (in London), and Mama. God bless Dell, she didn't even flinch. "You got it, baby. I'll come to your house to do the call because I took delivery of a package for you that I can't wait for you to see."

I start bouncing in my seat, "Where's it from? Where's it from?"

She snorts, "Nope. That would give it away. You'll just have to wait."

"Hey, Dell. Why don't you come spend the night here?"

She laughs, "Is your middle name 'obvious'? You just sleep on it, sugar. I'll bring you some coffee and donuts in the morning." She cuts me off before I can retaliate, "Night night love bug! Sleep well."

Much later, Jamie and I did a Zoom call with the girls, set up by Mary and Chad. With us in three locations, this was the best way to do it. We were having a fun time and Dulcie tugged on Elva's curls after Elva stuck her tongue out at her. Jamie scolded her and she threw up a hand and yelled, "NYET! She started it, Daddy. I was just defending myself. Aunt Mary said it's okay to defend yourself."

Jamie sighs, "Did Aunt Mary also teach you NYET?"

She bounces up and down and Elva joins in. "She did! She also taught us NON, NEIN, NEI, NE, OCHI!"

Dulcie piles on, "And she said if saying no doesn't work, a nut punch will do the trick. Ooo ooo ooo...she also taught us how to box somebody's ears!"

Oh sweet Jesus. I want to laugh my ass off, but I can see Jamie with his deer in the headlights look – not knowing what to say. I chime in, "That's great, girls! Just remember what Nana Dell told you, save the nut punches and ear boxing for the bad people. Don't practice on Daddy or Uncle Chad."

Elva giggles, "Uncle Chad already got his ears boxed. He didn't like it. He scolded Aunt Mary."

Jamie chuckles, "And what did Aunt Mary say?"

Elva giggles, "She laughed at him and pointed her finger at him like Mummy does when we're naughty and talked to him in a really scary voice. Zip it, Chad. I'm just teaching the kittens how to use their claws. Unless you want a bad case of cat scratch fever, you'll back off and get onboard."