After All

Chapter 26: A Lot to Learn

As usual, Chad picked the perfect restaurant for dinner with Dakota and Melanie. We're having a great time and I turn to Dakota, "Since you are in matchmaking mode, what do you think about introducing one of your sisters to Garrett?"

She busts out laughing so hard, her water comes out her nose. Once she recovers, she sees my face. "Oh. You're serious."

I frown, "Why not? You said yourself that he's 'yummy'."

She reached over to take my hand, "Baby, he's gay. Stella would take him shopping and Grace would take him bar hopping and use him as a wing man."

Mel asked, "Who's Garrett? The Chris Hemsworth look-alike?"

Dakota nods at her around a mouthful of sashimi. Mel smiles sadly and reaches over to pat my face, "Oh honey, yeah, he's gay."

I am mystified. I turn to Chad and he tips his wine glass at me, "Told you."

I run my hands through my hair, "How do I miss these things?!?!"

I turn back to Chad, "Did he hit on you?"

All three of them laugh, and Melanie asks, "Why would he?"

I'm not sure how to answer that, so I keep my mouth shut. As always, Chad saves me. He wipes his mouth and crosses his arms on the table to lean forward. "Jamie, I'm not gay. Yes, I'm an extremely fastidious, anal, obsessive perfectionist with a better sense of style than most stylists, but I like women. I just require a very specific type. You need to watch New Girl and pay attention to Schmidt and Cece. Then you'll get it." He pats me on the shoulder, "But thanks for worrying about me, Boss."

Ever intuitive Dakota looks back and forth between me and Chad and asks, "What's going on?"

Chad and I share a look and I give her a condensed version. She gets red and is nearly shaking in her chair. She can't string words together. Mel reaches over to take her hands to calm her and looks at me with a serious face. "Jamie, you need to hire that young man a lawyer and have him or her send a cease and desist letter to that bitch. They can cite defamation of character, and probably a lot more. Even if she caves, you need to shut her down and she needs to understand how serious false claims are. They simply detract from the real ones."

She and Dakota share a look and both take a big sip of their wine. I know there's a story there, but I'm too smart to probe.

Chad explained the steps we are taking to keep them separated. Dakota snarled, "I hope you slapped her ass onto a cargo plane."

Chad grins, "Better. I put her in coach, in the back, right by the bathroom."

Melanie laughs and cheers Chad with her glass. Dakota leans over to kiss his cheek. "Oh Chad, I do love you. If Jamie didn't have me wrapped up, I'd be on you like white on rice."

I smack my hands on the table, "No! No more white and rice metaphors. It was bad enough when you were the rice."

Mel raises a questioning brow and Dakota and Chad speak at the same time, "Scott."

Mel simply breathes out, "Ahhh. I get it."

Chad leans over to kiss Dakota's cheek in return, "No offense, Miss Dakota, but we'd kill each other on the first date and you know it. That said, I do adore you and would be honored to be a bride's man at your wedding."

Dakota drops her jaw and Melanie drops her fork with a clatter. "Wedding? There's going to be a wedding? How do I not know this?" She takes a gulp of her wine, "Oh God, don't spring it on Don like this. He'll detonate."

Dakota reaches over to take both of her Mom's hands. "No wedding, Mama. Not yet." She looks to me with a sweet smile, "But we are working in that direction."