Saving the Monster

Chapter 30

Rey waited but the familiar humming never started and he never appeared.

Finally she crawled into bed, exhausted and yet determined. She was going to warn him, next time she spoke with him she was going to warn him, give him a chance to get away. Rey tried to keep her eyes from closing, willing them to stay open in case he appeared in front of her again. But he didn't and finally Rey lost her fight and slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Rey woke the next morning, her mind as ever going immediately to him, to Kylo Ren, or Ben, she wasn't sure exactly who he was and she got the impression that he wasn't entirely sure either. Her realisation of her feelings towards him had been like a fire in her belly, radiating outwards, making her cheeks grow hot. Did she love him? She wasn't sure, she'd never been in love before, but she knew for sure that she cared deeply for him and she was relieved to note that her feelings hadn't changed, she was still determined to warn him of the attack that the resistance were planning.

Rey dressed and headed towards the mess hall.  The day was particularly hot and already her clothes stuck to her skin.  She was used to the heat, coming from Jakku, but the humidity was something that she felt she could never get used to. 

Rey had almost reached the mess hall when she heard her name being called. She turned and saw Finn, Rose and Leia stood outside one of the supply huts. "Could we have a moment Rey?" Leia said gently. Rey nodded, heading over to them, her empty stomach growling it's protests.

"Rey I want you to spend the day with Finn and Rose, training the new recruits". Leia said, leaning on her stick.

Rey's brow furrowed as she looked between the General and her two friends, "But I thought you wanted me to train....."

Leia nodded, taking Rey by the elbow and leading her to one side, "I did. I did want you to train, but Rey you're not in the right place right now, in your mind I mean". When Rey dropped her eyes and her shoulders slumped slightly Leia reached over and squeezed her shoulder, "Besides Rey you're the best fighter we have",

Rey nodded once at the General. Leia was right about her mental state, Rey knew she was, but that didn't stop the truth from hurting. She wasn't fit to continue her Jedi training, Rey knew that to be true and now Leia knew it too, and that hurt.

As ever Finn seemed totally attuned to Rey's emotions and he slid a supportive arm around her back as she joined him and Rose, "Come on, let's go eat some slop"

The mess hall was noisy and busy, something that Rey thought she'd enjoy after all her years alone on Jakku, but she didn't. The metallic clanks of spoons on dishes and raised, excited voices didn't make her happy, in fact nothing did, well except......

She thought of him as she sat down next to Rose. Was it like this where he was? The noise, the hectic atmosphere? She doubted it. The little she had seen of the First Order had given her the impression of ruthless efficiency and organisation with no room for chat and laughter.

"Sooooo, you're joining us in training the new recruits", Rey looked up from where she'd been staring at her hands on the table, to find Rose facing her, her round face flushed with excitement as she spoke, "it's good fun, they're all super hard working, and honestly...." Rose glanced across at Finn and found him deep in conversation with Snap Wexley, "some of the men, wow!"

Rey couldn't help but giggle at her friends playful demeanour, "Sounds like the perfect job". Rey said, smiling brightly.

The day was fun as it turned out and by the time Rey headed to the lake to freshen up with her two friends she was in high spirits and happy. Happy, that was something that Rey hadn't been in quite a while and now as she splashed about in the cool water with Finn and Rose, she felt the first nagging seed of doubt creep through her. Could she really betray her friends for him?