Saving the Monster

Chapter 24

Rey's cheeks flushed warmly and she swallowed hard, not knowing what to say but knowing that she had to say something, she couldn't stand the heat of his stare any longer so she said the first thing that popped into her head,

"Why were you sad? I felt it, your pain" Rey said softly, tentatively, not wanting to disturb the relative peace between them.

Kylo Rens eyes went back to looking at the ceiling and Rey watched as he swallowed a couple of times before answering, "I can't go back to her" he said quietly, his head turning towards Rey, his eyes staying unfocused on a spot above her head , "somehow things were easier when I thought that she was gone". His voice quivered and he turned his head away from her quickly.

Rey leant forwards, trying to see his face, but he kept it turned hard against the pillow, "Ben?" She said softly. When he didn't respond Rey tried again, more forcibly, "Ben?"

He turned his head slightly and glanced at her, "So it was you that I heard, it was you talking to me"

Rey nodded, taking in his glassy eyes. They made her want to pull him to her, to hug him tightly, to make him see that all was not lost for him, that there was still hope. But instead Rey slid downwards so that she was lying flat on her back next to him, hell she thought, might as well be comfortable while laying in bed next to her enemy and the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

The situation was almost too strange to comprehend. Never before had she seen him so stripped back, so human. Here, in this moment he was just a man, and she was just a woman.

Kylo Ren shifted, turning on his side to face her. Rey fought to keep her eyes on his as his sheet rode down his body , revealing the top of his stomach, "Why did you say those things to me?"

It was Rey's turn to swallow and then she turned her head to look at him, "Why did you let me go when I met you on Kijimi?" Rey countered.

The question seemed to take Kylo by surprise and he bit his lip, his eyes leaving her face. When his eyes finally returned to hers, they were round and vulnerable, "I don't know, I, I shouldn't have"

Rey had never seen him like this, he always had a smart answer and a quick tongue.  But here, now, he seemed to be struggling, unsure of his actions. 

Feeling the force bond begin to break apart Rey reached out, feeling his cheek under her fingertips and whispered, "I don't know why I said those things to you when you were hurting, I know I shouldn't have, but I wanted to"

Kylos eyes widened even further and just as the bond broke, Rey felt his hand come to rest on hers which was still cradling his cheek.