Saving the Monster

Chapter 35

Rey swallowed, straightening, "The resistance, I..."

Kylo tossed down the book in irritation.  Luckily it landed at Rey's feet and she hurriedly retrieved it, hugging it close to her chest.

"This blind loyalty you have to my mothers cause will get you no where, it will only get you killed.  You don't belong there with her" Kylo said, frustration showing in his voice.

"Then where do I belong?"  Rey asked, her voice coming out more quietly than she meant it to.

Kylo Ren stood then.  He took two steps towards her and then stopped.  She watched him swallow twice, his brow slightly furrowed and his eyes vulnerable.  It reminded her of how he had looked in Snokes throne room right before he asked her to join him and something inside her softened and she felt tears stinging at her eyes.

"You belong with me, we're a Dyad in the force Rey, two that are one.  Search your feelings, you know it's true" Kylo Ren said, his gloved hand lifting to reach out to her just as it had in the throne room.  Rey blinked and the tears fell, rolling down her cheeks.  She did know it was true, of course she did, but she didn't want this version of him, she wanted Ben Solo, not the Supreme Leader, not a Jedi killer, not a monster, just the man, Ben Solo.

Rey stared at Kylo Rens hand and realised that it was shaking.  Rey's eyes met his and she found his gaze so intent that it startled her out of her trace and her mind became clear.  If she wanted the man not the monster then she would have to show him.

Rey reached out her hand to meet his, but she didn't take it, instead she gripped the leather fingertips and dragged the glove from his hand.  Her eyes met his as it landed on the floor somewhere on his side of the bond, and she found them round with surprise.  Once his hand was free, Rey took it in hers.  It was cold and Rey cradled it between both of her hands as she spoke,

"This is the hand I want to take, Ben Solos, not Kylo Rens". Rey said softly.

His lip trembled ever so slightly and Rey wondered if she would have even noticed it had she not been so close.  His eyes roamed her face,

"That man is gone".  Although he said the words forcefully, Rey could sense the conflict in him.  He made no move to take his hands
from hers and she massaged his fingers as she spoke, feeling the hard edges and rough skin,

"No he's not, he's the man who didn't kill his mother when he had the chance, the man who let me walk away on Kijimi, the man who still regrets what he did to his father.  There's still light in you, I know it"

The man before her was looking at his hand in hers, staring down intently.  Rey squeezed his hand, "Ben?"

He didn't look up at first, but slowly he lifted his eyes to meet hers, and what she saw there made her heart break.  They were brimming with tears and so full of pain that it took everything in Rey not to pull him to her, to smooth his hair and whisper words into his ear.

"It's too late" he said, his voice shaking from the effort of holding the tears back that threatened to fall.

Rey shook her head vigorously, "It isn't.  I believe in you Ben, I'll help you"

Rey watched the first tear fall, sliding down his cheek, "How can you help m......"He asked, his voice cracking, a sob replacing the last word.  Rey could hold back no longer, she released his hand, wrapped her arms around the much taller mans waist and pulled him to her. 

She felt him resist for a moment, but then she felt his body relax and he allowed her to rest her head on his chest.  Even through the force bond she could hear his heart pumping wildly, could feel the rush of emotions coming from him.  Confusion at her actions, sorrow and regret and something else, something that mirrored how she felt as she pressed against his strong chest, desire.  A deep, primal feeling unlike anything she had ever felt before, and it seemed, unlike anything he had ever felt before.

One of his hands rose slowly to rest on her arm and she shivered at his touch, so real, so much as if he were in the same room as her. His head drooped forwards into the nape of her neck and she felt his breath on her skin, sending more shudders through her.

"Remember you're not alone Ben. I'm here for you" Rey whispered as the connection began to break. He nodded against her neck and the last thing she heard as the bond ended, was his voice, barely above a whisper,

"You're not alone either".