Saving the Monster

Chapter 33

  Kylo Ren was sat sideways at what appeared to be the foot of her bed, shirtless, stopped midway through binding his arm, just above the wrist, with what appeared to be some kind of bandage.

He shifted so that he was turned towards her.  Their eyes met and Rey swallowed hard wishing that her throat wasn't so dry.

"Not a good time?" Rey asked, hearing the slur in her voice as she battled to keep her eyes from his smooth, muscular chest.

Kylo inhaled slowly, his eyes looking back down at the blood stained binding that he held to his arm, "No"

Rey shifted closer to him, her fuzzy head affecting her balance and she fell to the side slightly, saving herself on one arm.

Kylos brow furrowed and he eyed her closely, "What were you celebrating?"

The question, so unexpected, so not something that she expected him to say, coupled with her present state, caused her to let out a little giggle, "What?"

"You've been drinking, what were you celebrating?" He asked again, wincing ever so slightly as he cradled his arm.

Rey's face flushed, somehow embarrassed that he had noticed the state that she had allowed herself to get into.  "Nothing" she answered flatly, terrified that in her haze she would say something that would betray the resistance.  That thought almost made her laugh out loud.  Wasn't that what she was planning to do anyway?

Kylo didn't push for more of an answer, and for that she was grateful.  "Have you ever drunk before?"  He asked, sounding genuinely interested.

At first Rey thought about lying.  She felt silly and childish to admit to him that she had only ever seen others drinking, but she decided that he would only catch her out tonight, her head was far too fuzzy, so she shook her head slowly.

To her relief he didn't laugh, he barely reacted, "My mother always used to serve wine to important people".  The comment was simple enough but it caused Rey to wonder, even through her drunken haze, whether he was implying that she was important, she certainly hoped so.

"What have you done to your arm?" Rey asked, her eyes on the bloody bandage.

Kylo inhaled deeply again, his fingers smoothing across the binding in such a way that she found her eyes fixing on his long fingers.  She swallowed hard, pushing her eyes upwards to meet his.

When he didn't speak, Rey shuffled even closer to him, "Do you want me to look at it?"

Kylos eyes locked with hers and although he didn't answer, the slow unwinding of the bandage answered Rey and she moved on her knees across the bed until she was able to reach out and pull the last of the bandage from his arm.  The skin was split, flesh showing, blood seeping out. 

The combination of the wine and now this made Rey's stomach churn and she turned her head away, a gasp leaving her lips. 

With her face still turned away she mumbled, "How, how did you..."

"It's not important" Kylo said, his deep voice filling Rey's ears.  She forced herself to look at him and then down to his arm.  Rey took a breath to steady herself,

"We need to wash it" Rey said softly, gripping his arm in her hand.  Had she been sober, then the very fact that she was able to sit next to him and hold his arm, even though they were miles apart, would have blown her mind as it did when they touched hands back on Ahch-to.

His skin was warm and soft and he flinched slightly as her fingers landed on his flesh, so real, so close, despite the distance.  Rey looked around, her eyes settling on the canister of water that Finn had left for her next to the bed.

Rey poured the water over his arm, making him curse, his head falling forwards, his other hand gripping at the sheets. "I'm sorry", Rey whispered. Once the cut was washed Kylo handed her clean bandages from somewhere around his feet and she began to wrap them slowly, pausing each time he grunted, allowing him to gather his breath before she started again, finishing by tying the bandage in a knot just under his elbow.

"All done" Rey said quietly, sitting back on her heels but not moving away.

She liked being this close to him. It bothered her, but she couldn't help it. She truly was a traitor. The thought made her feel guilty and she went to move backwards. Before she could, Kylos hand landed on hers, his fingers tightening. With a small gasp of surprise she looked up and found him looking at her intently,

"Thank you" he said, swallowing hard as he did so, telling her silently that it had been difficult for him to say. Rey's hand moved to his face as it had the previous time that she had found him vulnerable and in her bed and as before his hand came to rest on hers,

"You're welcome" she whispered, her fingers moving under his, feeling the edges of the scar she had marked him with, so long ago on Starkiller Base. 

He was so close and Rey breathed him in. He smelt different this time, a delicious mixture of soap and leather. He seemed to be doing the same, his eyes searching her face over and over.

Kylo lifted his hand from hers and let it fall into his lap. Rey's fingers moved automatically to smooth a loose lock of hair from his forehead, while all the time staring into his eyes.

This close Rey was able to take in every feature and she found him to be beautiful. Her hand slid from his soft hair and moved down his face, pausing momentarily next to his mouth. His lips parted and for a moment Rey hoped that he would turn his face and take her fingers into his mouth. The thought made her heated and she quickly pulled her hand away, guilt creeping up on her.

Kylo swallowed and so did Rey, "Get some sleep, you'll need it after what you got up to tonight" Kylo said, his voice soft and almost, dare Rey think it, tender.

Rey nodded, pushing back from him and wriggling under the covers. "Ben?" Rey whispered, the man next to her straightened, nodding his head at her,

"I like you being here" Rey whispered, knowing that the drink had made her loose tongued.

Kylo didn't move, but Rey could sense his surprise and then something else, a burning beacon in the dark of the night, happiness, she had made him happy. Rey drifted into a peaceful sleep just as the force bond ended, and he disappeared.