Saving the Monster

Chapter 3

"You wanted to see me?" Rey said, pausing at the door to the control room which was empty apart from Leia.

Since Crait, Leia had been training Rey, taking it upon herself to teach her what her brother had been afraid to, and Rey had allowed herself to become close to the older woman.

Leia held out a hand to Rey from where she sat whilst her other gripped her stick. "Rey, come sit with me".

Smiling, Rey came to sit opposite the General and Leia held her hand. Leias skin was warm and smooth and Rey enjoyed the contact, something that she was slowly growing accustomed to. "Tell me Rey, what's troubling you?"

Slightly taken aback by the question Rey dropped her eyes to the ground.  Leia squeezed her hand, "Rey? You can trust me".

Rey knew that she could trust Leia but could she trust herself?  Her mind whirled with traitorous thoughts, all related to the monster Kylo Ren.  Ben Solo was Leias son but that didn't mean that she would understand.  He had murdered his father, her husband after all.

Finally Rey shook her head slowly, "I'm fine, I think I need to rest, I'm just a little overwhelmed" she said simply.  Leia nodded, though Rey knew that she didn't believe a word of it.

Afterwards Rey went and bathed in the lake, stripping off her clothes behind a rock and edging into the icy water, her arms across her chest, goosebumps rising on her skin, holding her breath until she was completely submerged with just her head showing. Rey tilted her head back, allowing the icy water to make contact with her scalp, wetting it and washing the sweat from her hair. She closed her eyes, snapping them open again in irritation as Kylo Rens face appeared. She tried again, breathing deeply, trying to clear her mind of him. But it was no good. She brought her arms up out of the water and then brought them down heavily sending water spraying down on her head like raindrops.

She hadn't seen him since that last force bond on Crait over a month ago and something about that bothered her. She didn't want it to, but it did, it felt like unfinished business. The force bonds seemed to have ended, it was almost as if they ended as her hope and belief in him ended. The thought made her sad. She had so badly wanted him to be good deep down, not to be the monster that everyone, including himself said he was. She had wanted to take his hand when he had offered it to her, not the black leather gloved hand that he had held out to her but the soft, naked hand that she had touched on the night she saw his future, the night she saw him.

Rey wanted to see him and yet she hated him, she cared what happened to him and yet she wanted him dead, she feared him and yet she knew that she was the same as him. She cried out in frustration, slamming her hands down on the water again and again, tears stinging her eyes.

"Rey?"

A voice, somewhere behind her, anxious but unmistakably Poes. She dropped her hands, ducking down and submerging her upper body before turning to face him.

His brows were drawn together as he looked at her, "You ok?"

Rey felt her cheeks become warm despite the icy water.  "I'm fine"

Poes expression didn't change, "Heard you yelling..."

"I said I'm fine" Rey said, her tone sounding sterner than she meant it to.  She liked Poe, despite his slightly difficult temperament, and the last thing she needed was to lose a friend and so she took a deep breath and softened her tone when she spoke again, "I was just letting off some steam, I'm good, honestly.  What's up?"

Poe, who had been looking concerned appeared to accept her explanation and after a moments pause he got back to business, seemingly unaware that Rey was unclothed under the patchy cover of the lake waters.  "I've done it again, upset that god damn walking carpet"

Rey smiled, "What have you done to Chewie now?" She asked, fighting back laughter.  Just lately Poe and Chewie had constantly been at loggerheads. Poe had been working on and copiloting the Falcon regularly, a little too regularly for Chewie's liking and then last week things had come to a screaming, bellowing head when Poe had light speed skipped and caused damage to the ancient ship.  To say that the Wookie had been less than pleased would have been an understatement.

Poe crossed his arms over his chest and sighed, "Apparently I fixed the deflector shield generator wrong, says I'm heavy handed if you can believe that coming from a 240 lb rug!"

Rey stifled a laugh, "I'll come and take a look at it"

Poe ran a gloved hand over his face but made no move to leave.  Rey lowered her gaze to the pile of clothes on the bank and then raised her eyebrows at him.  Poe hesitated, clearly not fully grasping what she was saying and then his eyes dropped to the pile of clothes and then to Rey again and his face coloured, his usual cocky demeanour leaving him as he stumbled backwards a few paces and pointed to the path that he had arrived on, "I, uh, I'll go....let you get sorted, see you on the Falcon", and then he turned, his foot slipping on the wet mud of the riverbank, both his hands shooting down to break his fall, which in turn sent a spray of muddy water over his face.  This time Rey couldn't hold back her laughter and so, holding her breath, she sank down under the water, the sound of Poe cussing just a vibration in her underwater world, and she smiled to herself.