~ Jasmine's Point of View ~
It's been two weeks since it all happened. And everything is been one big chaos. I've been avoiding everyone including Ellie. I just can't stand to be around anyone right now.
Two freaking weeks but it feels like two century's. Two weeks since my mother passed away. I've been in some kind of shock lately. I'm not eating, drinking or sleeping. Everything takes me back to that moment. Ellie left me alone in the room to talk with my mother and next thing I knew we where in a converstation when she just left. It was all too much for her and I get it. It totally get it. I can let go, that's what I think all the time but why didn't she fight? Fight like I fought the beatings. But I guess this was something else. My dad came over, blaming me ofcourse but Tracey was there so he couldn't do anything.
I haven't been to school either because I don't want to face everyone. Then I will be the girl who lost her mom. I don't want to be that. But ofcourse when I arrived at school, that's exactly what happened.
...
I walk through the hallways, Ellie holding my hand and I can feel the stares burn into my body. I look around, all faces filled with sympathy. Ellie squeezed my hand but not that it really worked. Because I skipped school for two weeks, the principal was expecting me. Ellie and I walk to her office. I knock on her door and I hear a muffled "Come in." I step into her office and Ellie trailing after me.
"Miss Goulding, you may leave please. This is only for Miss Collins." The principal says. Ellie is about to protest but I stop her.
"It's okay. Wait outside." I say and kiss her cheek. She gives a little glare and steps out the office.
"How have you been doing these last days, Miss Collins?" The principal asks. I roll my eyes.
"Fine, I guess. Ellie's mom is taking good care of me." I say. He looks me in the eye and raises his eyebrow.
"Are you staying with Miss Goulding's mom? What about other family members?"
I swallow, "I rather not talk about that." He stares at me again. "My father hates me and my brother is in Europe." I blurt out and instantly regret it.
"Well then. I guess it's fine that you stay with Miss Goulding."
"Even if it wasn't fine with you, I would stay there. They have been through everything with me and I trust them more than anyone else." I say, maybe a little bit too harsh. "Sorry." I mumble.
"It's okay, Miss Collins. I assume you are fine and if there's anything I can do you can alwyas come to me." He says and offers a little smile. I don't return it. "You can go to your class now. Take it slow, you've missed a lot." But I already was outside. Ellie's hand captured my as soon as I step outside. She opens her mouth, probably to ask if I'm okay but I shut her with a kiss.
"I'm fine. Let's go to class."
...
Class obviously began with everyone sending their condolances to me with made me very tired to be honest. I thanked them anyway and tried to follow the class, which kinda succeeded but also not because everyone kept sending me pityfull glances. I just shrugged it off and ignored them like I aways did. It almost feels like before I met Ellie. Everyone throwing glances and weird looks to me because I was so different, apperently. So this is no difference.
Class never went so slow as today but thank god it ended now. I grab my backpack from the ground and rush out of the classroom, Ellie waiting for me outside. Our last class wasn't together and how hard that was for her, was quite easy for me. It sometimes was pretty good to be away from her since I live with her and Tracey now. So I see her everyday. Not a bad thing but sometimes I just want to be alone and somehow Ellie doesn't always understand. Sometimes I wonder how it's possible that we're still together because she gets mad everytime I say I want to be alone. I shake my head, my thought are rambljng again.
"Hey love. How was class?" Ellie asks and kisses my cheek.
"Horrible, to be honest. Everyone kept giving me sad glances like I have my own sadness and I don't need your pity too." I say.
"In a week everyone will forget and you can go to school with peace, I promise." Ellie says. We walk out of the school, towards the busstop. Tracey couldn't pick us up today so we have to take the bus. Not that I mind, busrides are sometimes pretty peaceful for my mind.
We sit on the bench waiting for the bus and not much later it arrives. We get in and our usual spot all in the back is still free. I sit by the window and Ellie next to me. Our trip is in silence, as always. Ellie is typing on her phone and I try to ignore it but I can't help to look at her screen from the corner of my eye. She is texting with Hannah, who wanted to go out with Ellie but Ellie refused.
"You can go out if you want." I say. Ellie snaps her head away from her phone.
"Are you look at my phone?" She asks. I smile shyly and the laughs. "I can't go out because I have to take care of you."
"You don't have to take care of me everyday. Go out Ellie, I can take care of myself. I don't want to be a burden to you."
"You're not, I promise love. Are you sure you want me to go?" I smile at her.
"Yes. Go. Have fun." She smiles back at me and nods.
...
Hey guys,
So I'm still alive if you ever wondered. I don't really feel anything for the story anymore and I really don't know what to do with it. So yeah 😞
Comment if you're still interested in it
Lots of Love
Serena x
