Bloodstream

01 Gunshot

***Not edited***

Sage

Blood.

Gun powder.

Burning wood.

Alcohol.

I smelt  all of that. I smelt of all of that. My white shirt dripping in blood. Mine.

"Fuck" i muttered under my breath.

I had no idea how I managed to get back home. I'm pretty sure i blacked out more than once. I was feeling suffocated. Almost like someone had their fist around my windpipe. I was panting for air.

I put my gun down on the counter and walked to the mirror. My arm was too bloody and painful to wait any longer. I ripped the shirt open and threw it on the floor.

My olive skin was almost as pale as the shirt I was wearing. I pulled my hair to my side so that it wouldn't touch the wound. The lights were still dim but I could see my nerves spiralling out of the wound. Black. Dried blood all around it.

The pain was almost unbearable.

Without letting my thoughts wander around too much I dug my fingers into my shoulder, trying to reach the bullet. I didn't realise it was that deep until i almost felt a tear slip from my eye. I blinked back and let a string of curses run from my mouth.

Everything was heightened in that moment of pain. I could hear the crackles from the embers of the fire, the traffic in the distance, my breaths getting deeper, I might have heard every single heartbreak that pounded against my chest. Hell I even heard my fingers going into my skin trying to find the bullet. I could feel every single thing. And it was hell.

The second that bullet came out it was as if I had breathed for the first time in years. It was like someone had their hands clutched around my heart waiting to rip it out and they finally let go.

My sanity started coming back. Flashes of what had happened started coming back. Anger and rage started coming back.

I walked to the cabinet on the other side of the room. The pain was still severe. Time felt as if it was dragging. I poured my self a glass of whatever I got first and sat down on my couch infront of the fire hoping for some warmth.

My mind was was running back and forth between so many different things but ended up fixing on one particular thing over the fireplace a sigil of a raven in the antique carvings over the fireplace with the letter A carved into it.

My brother, Ezra was hell bent on having our initial carved into most of our decor whether it was furniture, cutlery or carving . He thought it would make us look more mystique for some reason. He tried explaining it but I didn't care back then. Most of our stuff was made hundreds of years back. Its almost insane how it all still looked so put together.

I looked at myself in the mirror above the fireplace. It had the similar initial carved into the edges in delicate designs. It was so subtle that if you didn't know our history you wouldn't have known what the meaning of that  meant.

A.

Amherst.

Sage Amherst.

A name that made people tremble at times.....most times. Its insane how easily you can deceive people into believing what you want them to.

Anyone watching me sitting here alone and scared would never think I'm the same person that tore through an entire establishment about an hour ago.

But I guess that's the power of having people fear you. That's what I was taught . That's what I lived by. But I was worried. Maybe beven feared. What happened tonight...I hadn't felt anything like it before.