Bloodstream

38 Into The Woods

Sage

"What is this supposed to mean?" I barged through the door. With the force the door swung open with I was certain the hinges were about to fly off that very second but I didn't care.

"It means I have pressing matters to take care of, Sage" he had his back facing me, dumping his clothes into his bag. How is his voice so calm?

"Pressing matters that Donovan couldn't take care of" I crossed my arms over my chest. I was so mad....so damn mad right now. I didn't even know why I was here. I didn't know whether I wanted to yell at him, tell him to fuck off or just cuff him down to the bed and make him stay.

"I have to go sooner or later " his cold tone sent a shiver down my spine.  He zipped his bag up and turned to face me with a stoic expression.

"Why?" I breathed out, mentally cursing myself for coming in here knowing how weak I actually was when it came to him.

"I have a Kingdom to rule"

"Bullshit" I let out a sarcastic laugh.

"I don't understand you" he took a step closer and I took two back. "You fuck me like your life depends on it and then you tell me you want distance. When I give you distance, you fall right back into my arms. Then you kiss me and give me mixed signals but when I'm unsure about something, you get mad at me. So I'm going to ask you one last time, Sage. What do you want? Because this is getting frustrating. For both of us" he practically yelled.

Frustrating? That's what I was to him?

"Answer me damnit" he took a long stride towards me but before I could move back he grabbed my shoulders, pulling me into him.

I fumbled to find the words to say but all I could form was "I don't know what I want Axel" .

"For fucks sake" he let me go and took a step back, running his hand through his hair "I love you, Sage. How fucking hard is that to understand?"

I froze.

His voice reflected how frustrated he was but his eyes showed me the hurt in him. I was so dumbfound...my brain couldn't put the words behind eachother to form a decent sentence

"Axel" i instinctively took a step towards him.

"Don't" he put his hand up.

"I... what do you want me to say?" I took a step back feeling the tears pricking the corner of my eye.

"Just say bye and leave" his face hardened into an unreadable expression once again. I hated this.

"Bye? You can't just tell me you love me and tell me bye"

"Yes, I can. I've spent days trying to fight it. I've had sleepless nights trying to figure out if you feel the same. But if you can't do that for yourself.... I'm not going to put myself in a position of getting hurt again" he shook his head. "I can't"

"When did I ever hurt you?" I shot back defensively.

"Every single day. You hurt me every damn day. Every time you touch me" he took a step forward "Everytime you kiss me" he took another step "Everytime you look at me with even an ounce of affection" he stopped barely an inch away from me, allowing me to see the fire behind those greys "Everytime you're close, you suffocate me because I know you're not giving me everything" his voice cracked.

"I gave you more than I've ever given anyone Axel. I gave you every inch of myself and that still wasn't enough for you" I felt a tear run down my cheek "What more do you want?"