pAroDy sToRiEs fiLled wIth nOnsEnse

Chad's Diary The Third

*Please don't be mad at me with your role FAM server members reading this

Don't you just love it when you blow up your aunt and you get yet another letter on unintentionally violating the underage magic rule? Ah yes. Now I can't go to Hogsmeade with everyone else. I don't like everyone else anyway. I just wanna get drunk on Butterbeer somehow. Now I'm just writing this as I'm on the streets at 3AM.. Wait, is that a huge dog? 

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This bus thing came for me, surprisingly, and it's just way too... Quick. I'm ALREADY at the Leaky Cauldron. The Minister Of Magic came to talk to me and it wasn't at all good. He sucks! Well, not exactly, but he just gives that vibe! So I don't go to wizard jail. But now I stay here in the Leaky Cauldron! All alone, but I'd rather that than living with the Durzlys.

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I'm currently living my best life with this monster book.

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Oh my god, FINALLY LOGAN AND SUNNY ARE HERE! I've been waiting. Vailla has been made Head Girl, and Yama and Neko like to torment her for that. She doesn't like it. I forgot to mention here but, Logan owns a filthy rat. So the wizard jail guards are gonna guard Hogwarts. Interesting. Also Echi, the criminal, broke free from jail. (Moi: Why did I do this anyways)

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I'm on the Hogwarts train now with Logan and Sunny and a teacher who is asleep and.. The light just went out. There's this cloaked figure and......

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So what happened that time was a dementor. I fainted apparently, and Yui just had to talk and torment me about it once I stepped out! Apparently chocolate makes me feel better when I get attacked so that's cool, I guess. This new teacher's name, by the way, is Professor Tempest. 

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I have the Grim. I'm gonna die. Amazing. I was at Divination and we were reading tea leaves and I have the Grim. Isn't this just amazing? Professor Melissa just seems to like predicting this stuff.

I also successfully rode a hippogriff. Ha! Yui tried but she failed miserably. The hippogriff straight up attacked her. Poor her though. Wait did I just pity the person I hate? Well, but now she's trying to fire Hagrid.

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OH MY GOD YUI IS USING ME TO DO THIS POTION FOR HER AND PROFESSOR ACCELED LET HER- But overall this day was cool. Professor Tempest is cool. Unlike the last two, they sucked. We attacked boggarts this year and it was amazing. Too bad I didn't get a go. 

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Oh, so Professor Tempest was afraid that You-Know-Who also known as Allen, so that was understandable. And now, Echi had broken into the school. I honestly have a feeling that Echi was innocent. She just seemed like it somehow- So now we're sleeping in some basic sleeping bags in the Great Hall.

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Professor Acceled taught us Defense Against the Dark Arts today. All about werewolves. I wonder why?

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We had a Quidditch game. I failed badly. A dementor had to suck my soul from my broom and I fell off. And guess what? MY BROOM FELL INTO THW WHOMPING WILLOW. Hufflepuff won that time. They are REALLY good finders. I have a lot of letters now. It's really hard. 

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Neko and Yama gave me a map. A map of secret passages and all that stuff. I CAN GET INTO HOGSMEADE AND GET DRUNK ON BUTTERBEER NOW WOOHOO! I can also get lots of candy but who cares- I just wanna get drunk on Butterbeer. 

And now I just found out that Echi is my godmother. No wonder I felt she was innocent. The tragic part is, however, was that SHE LED ALLEN TO KILL MY PARENTS AND KILLED PEOPLE. THERE WERE EVEN EYE WITNESSES. She also killed this dude called Rat. Weird name huh.

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Buckbeak the Hippogriff is gonna be shot. Sad enough. Sadder is that IT WAS YUI'S FAULT. That wasn't fair! But I did get a Firebolt, but Professor Lemon and Professor Adalynn or Angelic is still going to examine it. 

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So Professor Tempest taught me how to fight dementors, thankfully. It was quite difficult though, but this spell is taught beyond Ordinary Wizarding Level, so consider myself lucky, I guess. Just think of happy memories. It was kinda weak, since I don't have much of those- But guess what? Professor Tempest offered me BUTTERBEER! I FULFILLED MY WISHES!

The Firebolt is safe, btw.

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And we're gonna play Ravenclaw! This Anne girl was their Seeker and everytime I look at her, my stomach does backflips. Ah yes, probably just me getting fired up against her so I can win. Must be it. So we played and YUI AND VIVI PRETENDED TO BE DEMENTORS! They get detention sooo.... 

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Last night was terrifying. Echi woke Logan up, knife in hand. It was terrible! Poor Hashim, he dropped a piece of paper with the password and he got detention. Now we have to roam the halls with a teacher, and it absolutely sucks.

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Today was totally awesome, Yui was once again teasing Logan and Sunny, basically shipping them with Vivi. And I was under the invisibility cloak! I threw snowballs at those two, I think one of them saw me though. Let's just hope not. What was not awesome was that Professor Acceled caught me sneaking into Hogsmeade. And found the map, which said words against her.

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Sunny punched Yui in the face today. I didn't know Sunny could do that. They were also gonna kill Buckbeak. It's sad. 

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Had a Quidditch match today, AND WE WON THE HOUSE CUP THIS IS AMAZING! TAKE THAT SLYTHERINS. Our captain cried tears of joy when we won

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Today was the day of Buckbeak's execution. I predicted that he'd fly away and survive, which is basically amazing! And there was this dog on the grounds and it dragged Logan away. Sunny and I followed him into the Shrieking Shack.  And the she was, Echi. Professor Tempest came into the room, AND SHE WAS ON ECHI'S SIDE AND WAS A WEREWOLF. And what was even weirder was that Logan's rat... Was Rat.. Echi was innocent. Rat was the traitor. Professor Acceled was in the background all along. Echi could TURN INTO A DOG. WHAT EVEN IS THIS.

There were dementors everywhere, but someone, someone saved me! I don't know who, but they did! 

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All along, Sunny had a time turner. THAT'S HOW SHE GOT INTO CLASSES OML- So we saved Buckbeak and we saved past us. We helped Echi escape, and when we came back everyone was like: "What the hell just happened?"

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Ah yes, I'm on the train now. Echi signed my Hogsmeade permission slip, and I can finally go to Hogsmeade. What's sad was that you don't really get drunk on Butterbeer... But fire whiskey? Oh I'm stealing loads of those.. Somehow... And Echi really was the one who bought my Firebolt.

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Ah yes, it's kinda less confusing now, am I right?