Chapter 7

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*warning! Contains mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts if you're struggling with any of this please talk to someone and get help you're not alone and I love you*

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"Hey Lily? I brought you some dinner since you didn't feel up to coming down" Bucky knocked on your door with a plate of food.

"No no don't come in it's okay I'm not hungry!!" Lily sniffled and quickly wiped away her tears.

"What's going on are you okay?" He leaned an ear against the door and heard sniffling. "I'm coming in" he announced before opening the door. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you, his eyes landing on the bloody scissors lying on the floor next to the now terrified girl.

Before she could even make excuses Bucky silently grabbed the first aid kit and began taking care of Lily's self inflicted wounds. She watched him intently as he calmly wrapped fresh gauze around her wrists.

"I hope you at least sanitized the scissors before you used them" Bucky snapped. Lily nodded in response, too surprised for words.

His words shocked you. Usually people would say something along the lines of "please don't hurt yourself" or "why would you do that?" But he simply...understood?

You gazed at him, puzzled. His blue eyes meeting yours, he simply rolled up his own sleeve to show many faint scars running along his wrist. You felt your eyes fill with fresh tears as realization washed over you.

"I know what it feels like.. to see their faces and be haunted by their screams, to wonder if you even deserved to make it when so many didn't at your own hands. To be a monster"

Bucky breathed in a shaky breath before continuing, "ya know doll, we can't change the past, but we can change the future..and if theres a chance you might be able to save a life instead of taking it for once, then maybe you should consider sticking around."

"yeah I'll think about it, but don't get your hopes up darling" you sarcastically nudged him with your shoulder.

Looking up, you noticed something glimmer in his eyes and before you could realize what was happening fully, your lips were met with his warm ones. You hesitated for a moment in shock before wrapping your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. As he pulled away slightly, you could feel his smile on yours. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that"

"I'd guess about 80 years, give or take a decade?" The soldier laughed softly before pulling you into a hug.

"Lily..."

"Hmm?"

"I've always found that the best way to overcome my...episodes... is to go to the gym and run a few miles, destroy several punching bags. If you need me for anything just holler okay doll?" He planted another kiss on your mouth before heading towards the door.

"Hey Bucky?" He turned around questioningly "I'd appreciate it if you didnt tell Steve about...all this. I'm not sure how he'd react and I don't wanna stress him out right now" the winter soldier nodded knowingly and closed the door behind him with a wink.

You smiled to yourself as you snuggled under your blankets and fell into a deep sleep.

-The next morning-

Hey, soul sister
Ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair, you know
Hey, soul sister
I don't want to miss a single thing you do
Tonight

You groaned and answered your phone, recognizing your friend's ringtone.

"Babbbeeeee where are you?? I've been trying to track you for weeks now and you've been ghosting me! If you went and got yourself blown up again I swear" You chuckle as she continued rattling off threats.

"Hey hey I'm okay dont worry about me girly. Actually hang on, lemme put you on facetime" you quickly turned the camera on and walked towards the elevator, still in your pajamas.

"Oh my gosh are you in an elevator? That's so fancy dude"

"Main floor, Jarvis "

"Jfjsjdkssls WAS THAT WHO I THINK I HEARD??"
You quickly put your phone at arms length as her voice kept getting louder. Who knew it was possible for someone to speak in keyboard smash

"Yeahhh so I may or may not be staying in avengers tower" you head out of the elevator and plop on the sofa near the other who were chatting quietly, reading and/or nd munching on cereal.

"....is you know who there?"

You slyly aim your phone towards an unsuspecting Loki so your friend can see. She always had a thing for Tom Hiddleston so it made perfect sense that she would have a crush on the Asgardian god of mischief.

"BITCH WHAT THE FU-"

you quickly took her off speakerphone as Steve shot you a disapproving look and Sam covered Peter's ears.

"You mean to tell me, you're living in the same building as that precious cinnamon of a god and you didn't even think to tell me??"

"Hey hey calm down Kita I'll invite you over soon and you can have him all to yourself" you laugh. Loki's ears turned pink as his excellent hearing caught the subject of your conversation.

"Pleaseee put me back on facetime I promise I'll be good"

Y/n sighed and connected your phone to the TV so everyone could see. "Guys, this is my best friend Kita. We met about a year or so ago at a Hydra Hydra experimentation lab and we've been friends ever since" the avengers looked up at the screen and waved.

"Yeah ya might say I'm an old flame!"

She chuckled, snapping her fingers to make a little spark of fire hover above her fingertips for a second before she blew it out.

"Hey casanova and pledge of allegiance"

your old army buddies stiffened up at the nicknames.

"you better take good care of my sister or I will come over there and turn you into human smores. Got it?"

Bucky gulped and flashed you a look as if asking for help.

"Anyways, I've gotta go walk skosh now so I'll talk to ya later y/n, bye guys nice meeting y'all! ....and bye Loki"

Kita giggled as you ended the call, just in time to notice a very red Loki vanishing from the room.
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Wooo child this was a long one but omg we're makin progress!!

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Wooo child this was a long one but omg we're makin progress!!

By the way quick shout out to my real life Kita, SilentSparrowAvenger who made all of this possible and inspired me to create this story!! Yall should go checkout her book My Heart's Fire its super LIT (haha get it? Cuz fire and...yeah nvm)

--Gryff 💕

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