From The Ashes//anidala

9

FROM THE ASHES

Chapter 9

Anakin sat cuddling on the sofa with Padme and the babies. "Ahh!" He said aloud, closing his eyes and putting his real hand to his head.

"What is it, darling?"

"My head, I can feel, I can sense, someone is trying to probe my mind using the force."

"But who?" She asked.

"Who do you think? It's Obiwan! I sense he's getting Yoda to help him, that's why I'm getting this so strong. Did they really think I wouldn't be able to tell?" He almost smiled.

"But, Anakin, WHY would they do that to you?"

"Oh, they must want to know what's going on with me, why I won't go back into the temple.Obiwan is covinced I have some kind of mental block keeping me from seeing."

"Well, Anakin, he could be right. There doesn't seem to be a medical reason for your continued blindness." Anakin didn't answer, but in his mind, tried his best to shut out the prying force users.

"Anakin, I want you to go back to the med center. The doctors can use your eyes as an example of how to heal the others. Then they can examine you further.." He was indignant and almost angry.

"No! I told you, no more doctors, no more prodding droids. What my eyes did, they did. It means nothing about what others will do."

"I guess you're right, I'm sorry." She took his hand in hers, and lay her head so close to his heart she could feel it beating.

Over at the temple, the two Jedi came out of their meditation together. "Shut us out, young Skywalker did. Puzzles me, this does." Yoda commented. "If strong enough is his mind he can control our probing, how is it that able he is not to stop what is blocking his vision?"

Obiwan answered "because he doesn't want us in there, he wants that, at least his subconcious does. Could you get anything from his mind, Master Yoda?"

"Darkness I sensed, not in his eyes, but in his inner self."

"The dark side?"

"No, dark feelings. Gone to dark places, young Skywalker has been. Done dark deeds. Troubles him much, this does. Lift this shroud of darkness he must, and see again he will."

"How can we help him if he shuts us out?"

"Try, you must. "

"Yoda, I sensed fear in Anakin, did you as well?"

"Much fear young Skywalker still has. Lead him to the dark side, it will not, but it keeps him from the light. Rid himself of it he must."

"And he will see again?"

"His eyes I fear not for, but his mind and his soul."

"What can I do?"

"Nothing you can do if for himself he will not do.."

"That's the problem. He won't let me."

"Be there for him you must. When right is the time, help him you will."

"That's all I have been doing, Yoda."

"Give up on him, do not."

"I won't."

Another week passed, and Anakin continued along his chosen path. Padme spent much time at the Senate. She was sorry to be away from Anakin and the babies, and more than surprised Anakin never once asked about the workings of the government. He hated politics, but he loved power. But he had changed.. Now all he did was sit around the apartment, and fear everything. He played his little game a lot, watched a bit on the vidscreen, but had gotten tired of being in the apartment. He was beginning to feel trapped, in a cell he had created himself. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't let Padme know he was faking. He lived in dread fear of ever going back to the temple because the deeds he had committed there traumatized him so much was almost paralyzed by the fear it brought. The memories of his near death at Mustafar only compounded this and left him a mental basket case, a mere shadow of what he had been. He was surprised that after his shattered body had healed so well, he was still feeling so crippled. Even at home, he would not be free. He had become a prisoner of his own device.