Whatever We Had

Seventeen

#WWH17
17
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Relationship

Dalawang linggo na ang lumipas matapos ang pangyayaring iyon. Dalawang linggo na rin akong nananatili dito kila Ari.

Her parents are not always here. Madalas ay mga kasambahay lang ang kasama. Sa unang linggo ko dito, tsaka lamang nila nalaman na isang linggo na ako dito. They said I can stay here as long as I want for Ari to have a company.

Dad and I still haven't talk to each other. Some of my necessities were brought here by kuya Diego. And according to him, my parents are doing fine. In the past few days, dad's always in his office in the house daw. I never knew what his office looks like. Lagi rin kasi iyong nakasara 'pag wala siya.

Though it's fine for me to go home, I don't think dad's fine with it. I'd rather stay here than have a row with him again. Baka tuluyan na niya akong masaktan. Kahit naman ayos na ako ngayon ay nandoon parin ang takot sa nangyari noon.

I think staying away from him made me improve some aspects of my life. One time, it crossed my mind to just take civil engineering. I feel like, somehow, I can do it. That way, I'm not just following my father's footprints, mahal ko din ang ginagawa ko. Ayon naman ang importante doon, 'di ba? To love what you do to be able to be successful on it. Because I know for a fact that I could never lessen my love for art. But if I take engineering, who knows, maybe dad would willingly allow me to still paint and all.

On my third week, I decided to finally go home. Russ, and some other friends, told me it's unhealthy to keep my relationship with my dad that way. I was fine with making amends. Let's just hope, dad's going to be fine with it, too. Two should play their part in every situation.

Lisle eventually knew what happened, too. One time, Ari and I ate lunch with Eula, Fence and Raven and then Lisle suddenly joined, of course, with Ash. I heard he's been accompanying Ash for awhile now.

It was fine for me. I think the subtle feelings I have for him subsided. I knew I'll get over it. I just need a few more times to see them together.

But for a week straight, I kept on thinking about it. That it could have been me if I only didn't push him away. It didn't help that I sleep on Ari's room, she eventually knew what I was weeping around. Of course, she was there for me and cried with me. In the end, she would always suggest to just date her cousin.

Well, we've been seeing Russ twice a week at school the whole time I stayed on Ari's. He said he's still busy with his adjustments. But he drops us off and stays here for awhile when we see him.

On weekends, he would sleep here, cook for us and hang out. Wala akong ginawa dito kung hindi mag-aral at kumain. Hindi rin naman ako nakapagpinta. Ari doesn't have much art materials in here since she's really not that much into it. She liked acting and modelling more. The only reason she's in STEM is because of me. Tyaka na raw siya hihiwalay kapag kolehiyo na, yun ay kung magkaiba kami ng kursong kukunin.

Russ' still constantly texting me, though. Even if it's just good morning and good night that he'd say, he would still text me. I love the consistency. And I'm slowly getting used to it. Not getting a text from him feels like something has been missing in my day.

Today's Saturday and I'm sure dad's not home. It's been 24 days of not seeing them. It feels good to be back home. Somehow, I missed living here eventhough I still, technically, live here.

Sinalubong ako ng mga kasambahay pagkarating ko. "Allana, you're dad's upstairs, nasa office niya." Nang Celia looked at me from head to toe. "Tumaba ka, iha." Aniya sa maliit na boses.