King of Nothing | Taekook

Chapter Eight

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"We both know what you're feeling. You're just afraid."

"I'm not af-"

"Yes, you are. That's why I'm making you say it." I sat back in my chair, not liking how Madame Ji-Sol was making me feel so conflicted.

"Young prince, look at my eyes." She said, leaning closer to me.

"Tell me again, tell me what you're feeling."

"But I don't know what I'm feeling." I said, feeling another wave of cold run through my bones.

"You do know what you're feeling, you just don't have the words to describe it right. Just tell me that one little detail again," she softened her tone, "tell me how he makes you feel."

"He makes me feel happy. But a different kind of happy." I spoke slowly and quietly.

"What do you feel when you're with him?"

"Happy-"

"No, what do you feel." She stared deeper into my eyes, as if she was reading into my soul. My heart started to beat faster.

"I don't even-"

"Shh, young prince. Stop sheltering yourself. You know exactly what you feel for him. Remember what I told you, the last time we spoke about him. People come into our lives for very specific reasons. I know you know his reason. And I think he knows your reason. All you have to do now is accept it."

"I- I just..."

"Don't speak. Just think. See his face in your head. See you guys together, remember how you feel when you're with him."

I shut my mouth and saw him in my mind. Just the thought of him made me smile, made me want to go see him as soon as I could.

"See," she leaned onto her elbows and smiled softly at me, "you know exactly how you feel. And you know why you two were meant to meet. Just say it. You'll feel better once you do."

"I..."

"Go on," she reached over and grabbed my hands in hers.

"Say it for me. I don't think I can." I said, feeling so unable to speak those simple, yet powerful words.

"You love him."

I nodded.

"I've only known him for not even four months." I said, trying to find some way to calm my nerves which we're seeking for some kind of justification to this recent revelation.

"That doesn't matter. You've known you love him for a while now. Whether or not you choose to bring it to attention before now or not. But, I need to hear you say it. And you need to hear yourself say it."

I opened my mouth and forced the words out, "I love him." I sighed and sat back.

"You feel better now, huh?"

I nodded, putting my head down into my hands.

"Aw, darling. Don't cry. I know that love can be a very confusing thing. I know it feels scary. But it's best that you just let it all out. Tell me everything you're fearing, everything you're feeling. It's all safe with me, young one."

"I mean... He's... Taehyung's a servantry worker. And I'm in line for the throne. It's scary to think that he could one day just be taken away from me. I told him that I would never let that happen, that I'd get him back, but I just don't know. God, every time I look at him I see this version of him that I want to give him. He deserves so much better. I see him and I just... I just want to grab onto him and give him a better life and... Sorry."

"No, no, sweetheart. It's okay. You're just expressing the way you feel and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't exactly know what to say about your differences in social standing. But if you're serious about him, and the way you feel, trust that everything is going to work out fine. You both just have to be strong."

"I'm just so afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"My parents- everything. How am I supposed to even be with him if I can't even be seen with him by my family?" I sighed, feeling the fears wash over me.

"Just trust the universe. For now, just continue doing what you both do. You see each other when you can. And that's the way it has to be for now. Just see where time takes you two and trust that it's for the best, okay?"

I nodded.

"You should talk to him, young prince. Let him know how you feel." She advised.

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"You've proven it yourself that he obviously feels some way about you. He cares about you, and probably more than you even realize, at this point in time."

I nodded again. I know he cares about me, it is obvious. He shows it in the way he looks at me, and I hope I show him in ways, too. I just don't know if it's okay for me to tell him that I love him. Because I do, and it sounds so odd to say, but I know it. I don't really know a lot of emotions, and I hardly knew what love felt like before him. It's a knowable and familiar feeling. Yet, so terrifying at the same time.

"Go see him tonight before the sun goes down, if you can. Just give him a sign, let him know how you feel without straight out saying it, if that's not the way you want to go."

"How do I do that?"

"He hugs you, and even gave you a kiss on the cheek. He's trying his best. Neither of you are really well versed in this." She chuckled.

"I guess I should trust you. You know more about me, and the world, than ever will."

"I'm just in-tune with the world around us. I was given this ability, and I'm using it for good. Don't worry about anything, you've got good things coming your way. Just keep your head up."

I nodded once more.

"Is that all? I don't want to keep you for longer than you need." She stood up and grabbed her bag.

"That's all," I stood to see her out. She left and I stood alone in silence.