King of Nothing | Taekook

Chapter Ten

Taehyung POV

The way that Jungkook and I were sitting made me feel so tired, so comfortable and safe. I always have a tough time falling asleep, despite working all day. But when I'm with him, it comes so easy. I think it's because my body knows I'm safe when I'm with him, that nothing could happen to me.

I wish I could be closer to him, but this is okay for now. I can sense he's in more pain than he likes to acknowledge. I just want to make that pain go away but I know I can't.

I think we're both too hesitant to try and comfort each other in the way we both want. So, hugging him in such a way I did, before I started to feel anxious about it, is as far as I could urge myself to go.

I fell into a dream-like state. I was asleep, but it felt like I was awake. A happy tingly feeling flooded through my body as the dream went on. I'd best not talk about what I'm dreaming. I could feel his head rest itself on mine. I smiled softly, but not enough to let him know I'm awake.

After a while, that dream seemed to turn bad. I was suddenly back at my old place, feeling the pains of being beaten and starved. My eyes shot open and for a moment, I couldn't tell where I was. But then I felt his body close to mine, saw his worried face through the darkness. I apologized and explained my unrest. He then lead me, half-asleep and still feeling a little frightened and uneasy, over to his bed. I fell down onto it and he covered me with the blanket.

I fell back into that exhausted state, but was still conscious. I froze when I felt his hand on my face. He brushed my hair aside.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered, then dropped his hand. My heart stopped momentarily. I couldn't think of any way to respond so I waited a while, until I felt like he was asleep. I cracked my eyes open to look at him. He was laying on his side facing me.

He's so pretty.

It's not fair.

I'm definitely in love with him. If it's not that, then I don't know what it is. I don't think it's safe for me to feel this way, and it pains me and weighs me down, but I just can't help it. He's so caring, so nice to me. His personality is one of a kind, I like to think that I've been lucky enough to see parts of him that nobody else has. He even said that to me once.

But there's just something else that draws me to him. Something that makes me feel like I've known him my whole life.

I won't deny my feelings, denying the truth only makes you feel worse. I just don't know where he stands with me. The highest probability is that he's just lonely, only treating me this way because he has nobody else. It kinda hurts to think about, but it could be true.

Even if he does feel the same way, which he definitely doesn't, I don't think we could do anything about it.

"I think you're pretty cute, too." I whispered and laughed softly. I turned on to my side, facing him as well, then fell back asleep.

•

I woke a few hours later, shooting into an upright position. I was shaking and crying, clutching the blankets in my fists against my chest. The nightmare from earlier came back, but far worse. I haven't had a nightmare like this in a while. The ones I have often are very tame. These are night terrors.

I tried my best to keep silent, and even contemplated trying to sneak out, but I barely know my way around this place.

"Taehyung?" Jungkook's quiet, groggy voice broke the silence. I bit my tongue hard, hoping he'd just go back to bed. But, to much my dismay, he sat up, "Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

I wasn't able to speak. The images still ran through my head, everywhere I looked I saw the dark figures of the men who'd come at night, the ones who would beat me and move me from place to place, selling me off like a farm animal. I try not to think about this time in my life because it was very traumatizing, but I can't avoid the memories.

"Are you crying?"

The question just made me want to cry harder.

"Oh, Taehyung! What's the matter?" Jungkook said, taking the sheet from my hands, opening my clenched fists and releasing the fabric. "Another nightmare?"

I nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry, come here." He said, taking me into his arms. I rested my head against his shoulder, holding him just as tight as he was holding me. I cried for awhile longer, just letting it all out. I felt like I didn't need to hold back anymore. He rocked me back and forth, saying such soothing and comforting things. He must be really good at comforting people, because he's working wonders.

"It's okay, I get them too." He whispered. He held me there until I stopped crying and calmed down, that didn't take too long. I just didn't want to let go. I felt like if I let go, the pain would come back. The feeling of fear washed away, and I don't want it to come back.

"Feeling better?" Jungkook asked, pulling away for a second. I nodded, but didn't pull away. I don't feel shameful of my actions. I don't feel clingy, I just feel safe.

"You don't wanna let go?" Jungkook laughed softly. The sound sent shivers through my body.

"Not really, I don't wanna let go. I don't want the feelings to come back." I spoke but my voice cracked.

"That's okay."

I pulled back a little out of reflex.

"Lay down, Taehyung." He said sweetly and brought me down with him, still holding me close. Our arms were slung over each other's waists, our faces inches apart. My heart rate slowed even more. "Try to fall back to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning." He leaned forward and kissed my head, "Remember, you're safe with me." His half-awake state is adorable, his sleepy smile just warms my heart.

"I know, thank you." I whispered back.

I love you.

I closed my eyes, leaning into his warm embrace. I smiled softly. Tonight has been a good night, despite the bad dreams. He's healed a lot of things within me.

I closed my eyes and quickly fell back asleep.