My heart bleeds on paper

CHAPTER TWO

    WARNING WARNING WARNING, THIS CHAPTER MAY HAVE SOME SUICIDAL SCENES OR SOME OTHER DARK SCENES WHICH MAY BE A TRIGGER SO PLEASE GUARD YOUR MIND, GUARD YOUR THOUGHTS, GUARD YOURSELF AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND IF YOU THINK OR EVER FEEL LONELY OR ALONE YOU COULD ALWAYS MESSAGE AND I PROMISE TO REPLY AND NEVER FORGET THAT JESUS LOVES YOU THROUGH ALL YOUR THICK AND YOUR THIN.

ANYWAYS... HAPPY READING PLEASE FEEL FREE TO VOTE AND COMMENT AFTER ALL IT IS FREE, ENJOY!!!!!!!                              

                                                                                    DAY 9

It's been awhile I ate at the restaurant, the very one that a chair had my butt dent on it, after that day were I almost had a breakdown in front of the restaurant I could not imagine myself walking in there to sit and eat without fainting so I stayed my visit but I was not a fan of eating dinner elsewhere, not even at my house and heaven knows that I don't want to eat anywhere else, I did not have it in me to adjust to a new environment I just do not have that strength at all

Today I am just going to suck it and drag my feet to that restaurant and if I die from anxiety then so be it at least it won't be suicide, I laugh to myself 'oh how I crack myself up' I say

I cross the street and drag myself into the restaurant and made my way to my table and sat on my ass-dented seat waiting for a waiter or waitress to acknowledge my presence and bring me my usual which after some minutes happened

A waitress came bearing my food and I was so happy and hungry to receive it, she dropped it said enjoy your meal and turned to walk away and as I was about to dig in I heard a cough from beside me, I turned and it was the waitress who served me, I raise an eyebrow and tilt my head just a little as a silent way of asking 'can I help you?'

"sorry ma'am I just wanted to know if you were doing alright, you know concerning what happened a few days ago, I just wanted to know if you are okay?" she asks and I couldn't decipher if she was being genuinely concerned or she was just being nosy and wanted something for her gossip session with her co-workers

I give her a small smile, nod and say "I'm okay" she seemed surprised that I spoke to her, her facial expression gave it away and frankly it made me want to laugh so I decided to grace her with more words from my mouth "thank you, will that be all?" and it seemed as if I disoriented her because she stuttered her reply of "no, enjoy your meal" before scurrying of, I wanted to laugh, honestly I did want to but I couldn't I did not have the strength to so I began eating my food

Half way through someone takes the seat opposite me on the same table as me, I needn't be a soothsayer or clairvoyant to know that it was him

HIM; the guy whose name I did not know and I decided not to want to know because I did not want any unnecessary stress in my life and him who also I didn't want to see again in this life or the next but I knew deep down that if I wanted to keep eating here then he would be an itch that i would eventually have to scratch

I never ever knew why he approached me some days ago in the first place, his face seems vaguely familiar because he sometimes frequents here so yes I just vaguely know his face and that's about it but why he pops my bubble whenever he pleases I still have no idea even when all I give him is silence, I admit I am grateful he helped me out few days ago but then I knew I would have to face him eventually especially after bolting out his car after I was sure I was okay enough to walk