My heart bleeds on paper

CHAPTER NINE

DAY 26; THE WEDDING

I am currently with Ogochukwu at the wedding he forced me to be his plus one for, we missed the service thankfully but we made it to the reception, yes we came late but in my defence it was not really my fault

After dressing to kill; don't look at me anyhow it's what Zainab said that I'm saying. After Ayo met with Ogochukwu he got to know about the invite and told Zainab who arrived at my door 7:00pm sharp! On Friday with three dresses in her hands and no I am not joking, I don't even joke. Zainab made me try on these dresses because according to her 'your dress sense for event is hopeless' and 'this is the first time you're going out to an event in a long while you should kill it'. After I got the 'perfect dress' also according to her, she woke me up by 6;30 am to prepare me for the wedding, did I forget to tell you that we had a late night wax appointment? Oh yes. After she was done with me hair, make up and others I think I was ready to kill it with her she smiled so brightly at me

Personally I was exhausted but when Ogochukwu picked his jaw from the ground after he saw me I was sort of giddy and satisfied for unknown reasons which I did not mind at all. We were on our way to the venue when we almost got hit by a bus and I may have vomited in his car while trying to contain my panic attack which I was failing miserably at, I'm just grateful I didn't pass out but lord knows I was shaking like a leaf and not even Ogochukwu soothing words did anything to help especially when I knew that he too was also shaken up by the incident

After I managed to calm myself a little we drove to a car wash to get the car clean and headed for the closest eatery to clear our heads

"Ala, are you feeling a little better now?" he holds my hand as he asks and I don't even stress to free my hands from his hold. I smile and nod a yes

"promise?"

"I hate making promises" I croak out as I haven't spoken since the incident happened and my throat feels kind of dry. He ignores what I said and still went "promise?"

"promise" I say

He nods and says "I think we might miss the church service"

"well there is this saying that goes, its better to be late than late" I cheer him up. For a while there when we almost had an accident I thought I was going to die and it terrified me, funny for someone who has been searching for death for years now it is quite ironic that when it comes on a platter of gold I became terrified. I look at Ogochukwu and I ask him "are you okay?"

The way he smiled at me at my question I started to think that maybe he hit his head really bad "are you sure you are okay? Because the way you are smiling eh, it is scaring me"

He laughs a little "this is the first time you've shown any form of empathy towards me" he states. I look at him wondering if I should dial 112 emergency number right now

"it means you care; you finally give a shit about me"

"that's a lie, if a stranger went through what we just went through I am very sure that I will ask the same question because I am a human with a heart"

"oh" if he seemed disappointed I think his weird smiles was a really creepy way of showing it

"I do give a shit about you, I wouldn't be here if I didn't" I told him truthfully

"I conned you into going with me you know" he points out referring to the wishes he had that I gave him

"don't flatter yourself, if I don't give a fuck about those wishes, I would not be here if I did not sort of kind of want to be here even if it's just a very little bit" I say' he just stares at me as if I'm meant to say something but I'm holding back; he finally speaks up