J's Reviews [closed to catch up]

#7: More Than Imagined

First Impression

The Cover is a bit muddled if I'm honest. It is neither clear as to what the book is about or gives the reader a nice little hint as to what to expect. Although it is a curious design, it isn't something I would say is particularly eye catching or bright. However, the font used is clear and easy to read and the cover contains the writer's name. This isn't the worst cover I have seen, but unfortunately it isn't the best either.

The Summary isn't the easiest of reads. The sentences do not flow as nicely as I would have liked and I am struggling to pronounce the main characters name. I believe it is Rowan, but as it is spelt with an unusual spelling I am left wondering what exactly her name is. I know a lot of writers think using an alternative spelling is cool and fun, but trust me, it isn't. It's better to use names that the reader can pronounce instead of risking an unusual spelling just to appear different. I'm also rather confused about something mentioned in your summary. What is a batter? Is it a typo? Or does she really team up with a siphon (don't know what that is), a dragon, a card trickster, and a battered cod/sausage/mars bar?

Prologue
The first paragraph is a little bit disgusting, but nothing I can't handle. So far the prologue is well written and nicely described with a good use of show v tell. However, for a prologue there is a lot to read, which makes me question whether or not this would be better off as Chapter 1. As the prologue continues we get an idea that the character Winfrey comes from a wealthy family, but I am left a little confused as he seems to be the main character and not the girl mentioned in the summary. I can't help wondering how the two are connected.

As I read further through this prologue I am left more and more confused by the plot. I am unsure what departure is or exactly what the story is about. It would be nice if you could find a way to incorporate a bit about Departure to help the readers understand a little more about what's going on.

Chapter 1: The Market
In the summary we had Rhoawyn and in the prologue we were introduced to Winfrey. The first few sentences of chapter one screams random character syndrome. Neither Eva or Rhoawyn were mentioned in the prologue, but Rhoawyn is clearly an important character as she was mentioned in the summary. At the moment I have absolutely no idea who Eva is, how she is connected to Rhoawyn or how either of these girls are connected to Winfrey. I know the last thing you want to do is stick an info dump right in the middle of the chapter but it would be nice to know a little bit more as I am becoming rather confused.

I think the plot line here is very complex but I have no idea why Rhoawyn's parents were a Four of what a Four means. Unfortunately I'm becoming increasingly put off by the lack of information.

Chapter 2: The Goodbye
Ok I can see now how Rhoawyn and Winfrey are connected. She and Eva (still don't know who Eva is) go to watch him depart (still don't know what departed means either). I am beginning to think departed might be another word for dying. Are people of low rank murdered or something? I'm still not sure.