J's Reviews [closed to catch up]

#10: Quit Bugging Me!

🦟 🦟 🦟

First Impressions
The Cover: I've done no end of reviews and seen (and made) loads of book covers. I always say try and get something bright and eye catching, and finally, someone has a bright and very eye catching cover. Your cover is exactly what a book cover should look like, it's bright, colourful and makes me think it's possibly about a girl who has a lot on her mind, so if I'm right, then it also gives a hint as to what it's about. Perfect cover.
The Summary has rather a Northern Lights theme to it. The people with an animal that walks around with them certainly reminds me of Lyra and Pan, from the Philip Pullman novels. But I'm going to read this with an open mind.

Chapter 1: untitled
Chapter titles are a really good way of giving your readers a nice hint about what the chapter is about without spoiling it for them and it's a shame you haven't used them in this novel.
A pair (not one) of ferrets crawled out of Mr. Woods pant leg. What a fun way of starting the story. I will admit the flow of that sentence if you were to change it around a bit. A pair of ferrets crawled out from the leg of Mr. Woods pants. Personally I think that reads a bit better. I can tell that this is most likely set in America or somewhere as if it was a British set story those pants would be underpants and your first sentence would have a whole different meaning!
Taylor is coming across as a rather unique character both within the story setting and in general. She doesn't seem to be the High School cliche princess and has different hobbies such as fishing with her friend. To me, she seems more human than a lot of female main characters in Wattpad books who sound like they have just been moulded from the same plastic as Barbie and put under some sort of cloning machine.
It's nice that so early on in the chapter we also get a little glimpse of her world and the people in it. They all have companions and poor Taylor hasn't got hers yet. I wonder whether or not she will get them and I wonder what they will be? Do people get one companion or more than one like the teacher chap and his two ferrets.

There's a bit of dialogue that confuses me a little. Just after the sweet little scene where Taylor holds out her finger to see if Eliza's birds will sit on them, we then have Mr Woods talking. Now as you haven't had him do something, such as clear his throat or write something on the board behind him, then when he talks, I did think it was Eliza at first glance.

Ok. I take back the comparison I made earlier about Lyra and Philip Pullman's novel. This is a nice, refreshing take on people with animal companions. I'm very interested to see which will become Taylor's companion and how they will meet. I'm also hoping to answer the question of do they talk?

What if she gets snails?! I really feel for her now. I hate snails with a passion, and slugs as well for that matter.

Chapter 2: untitled
Oh dear. She hasn't got snails has she? She's got flies! Poor Taylor. Flies buzzing around her like the buzz around piles of turd. I'm really enjoying such a unique and interesting story that I am struggling to say where it could be improved. I always thought of stories like this where people have animals that the writer would want to give their character a lovely creature, like a pretty bunny or a nice friendly kitten. I love that you haven't done that and I feel like you have sat down and thought what awful creature can I give to this poor girl, and you've come up with flies. Awful buzzing flies. Not only are flies just gross, but they're something that people see on a daily basis and they annoy everyone, so your readers can most definitely relate to her annoyance at being stuck with those awful winged insects. I can't help wondering if they are normal flies that can be killed with fly spray or super flies that don't die.

Chapter 3: untitled
There's so much I've enjoyed while reading this book. It's fresh and unique, yet Taylor is a young girl I feel a lot of people, her age or older, could easily relate to.

Oh dear, as I start reading this chapter I am more and more convinced that Taylor really doesn't want these flies. I don't quite know what it is, but there is something rather funny about a girl struggling to get rid of a load of awful flies.

Chapter 4: untitled
I usually only read three chapters but because these aren't that long and I'm still really interested in it, then I'm going to continue reading.

I love the subtle humour that's in this chapter, Taylor's dad sounds like a really bad dad joke, dad. I really like his personality.
I'd still like to know a little bit more about how people get companions, is it always as simple as the way Taylor gained her flies? I thought it was really funny when she woke up to find a load of flies in her bedroom.

Conclusion
After reading four very nicely written, humorous chapters I am really pleased I decided to review this book today. Although the chapters are a nice length, there is so much more I feel you could add to flesh them out a little bit. If the chapters were longer than my review would be longer. There's so much more I'd love to know and I think you may have found a new reader in me. The cover is brilliant and I have really enjoyed reading it.

My advice is just to flesh some parts out. I feel there's a lot of dialogue and it just needs a little bit more. You really show a talent for writing and even a little humour, which is rather difficult to write. I wish we had more writers like you in ShutUpAndWriteClub