J's Reviews [closed to catch up]

#14: Gods of Us

Introduction
Gods Of Us
YazzWrites
Genre: Fantasy

Why did I choose this book?

I have had no end of review requests and it is taking me a while to get through them all. Having a look through my long list, I saw the title of the book and I thought it looked interesting. Now I'm not a huge fantasy fan. It's one of those genres where everything and anything goes which can make for quite a confusing read for anyone, like me, who isn't that fanatic about fantasy.

As I click on the writer's profile to find the book in question, as links on the Wattpad app don't work, I am drawn to a very beautifully designed golden cover. It is brilliantly eye catching and is exactly what a book cover should look like. It is bright and draws the readers' eyes towards it, making them want to read it.
Onto the actual book.

Chapter 1: No chapter title
This is an interesting start to the story, but I would have liked to have seen more of a hook to the chapter. I think it is nice to see how caring Zren is towards Aya, but one line at the beginning of this chapter I can't help but find a little bit confusing, what would he do to them and their father. This makes me think that instead of Zren and Aya being partners, boyfriend and girlfriend, they might in fact be brother and sister. I hope this relationship is explained within the book as a few readers might be put off reading it if it turns out to be an incestrious relationship.

Chapter two: No chapter title.
If you have ever read any of my reviews before, you will be aware that I love a chapter title. I use them in my own work and I love seeing how other writers choose to use them in their own book. They give the readers a hint as to what the chapter is about, but without spoiling the plot for them. I think with a genre such as fantasy, chapter titles would work really well here and it is a shame you have chosen not to use them.
Now how many readers have had or indeed, seen, a letter from a palace? The chances are none. It would have been really nice to show the letter from the palace, perhaps show the elaborate handwriting on the envelope, the ruby red seal (which you have included).
Here we have Her Majesty, but I am confused as to what she is exactly. Is she a Queen, an Empress? I think this information her name should have been used earlier on in the chapter. But I am pleased to see that we know she is a queen. However, I do not know what this woman, or indeed any of your characters, look like. It is important to readers for the writer to help them build a picture in their minds by providing them with enough description.

I find a lot of this important information is lacking.
I am also becoming rather confused with the who's who of this book. We have Zren who is Aya's brother, Aya who is the Emperor's prostitute/slave, but the Queen. Is she the Emperor's wife, sister, mother, aunt? Again, there is missing information.

Chapter 3: No Title
It is nice to have some idea within the start of this chapter as to what Aya looks like. We know she has golden blonde hair, but that is all that is mentioned. I'd like to see more description. I don't know much about where they live or what the characters look like apart from the fact Aya had blonde hair. Surely there is more to her than that? Although I like this book, there are things that I'm not all that struck on, and one of those things, no matter how small, is the rather guttural expression used by one of the soldiers, 'go home and get back on your mother's tit!' I'm sure there are less vulgar expressions to use than this.

In conclusion
The chapters are a nice length and this is an interesting story but I feel the lack of description in parts is a bit of a problem. I would like to see more of the setting and show the characters feelings. However, if you are interested, I know a very good writing group that would be able to help you improve this book.