J's Reviews [closed to catch up]

#21: Haikyuu One Shots

First Impressions

The book cover is very plain. There is no title visible or a writer's name. This I found very confusing as the image of two anime characters kissing didn't say anything at all about what the book was about or who the characters were supposed to be. I am rather convinced that this is fan fiction but the fandom remains unclear. I suggest finding a cover that appeals to the fandom these characters are from and include a title and the writer's name on the cover. This makes it much easier for potential readers to find this book if they search for it in Wattpad.

Adding a decent summary would also help you to increase the reads. You need to explain what the book or One Shots, in this case, are about in a more descriptive way other than simply by putting just Haikyuu One Shots [Fluff]. I am sure you can do a little bit better than that. I don't usually read one shots and don't really know what is considered 'fluff' which is a little bit off putting to me as a potential reader, but I will give this book a chance

Confessions

One shots, or short stories to me are like any other work of fiction. As the writer you want people to read your work, but the most important thing to remember whether you are original fiction or in this case, fan fiction, is to write what you would want to read. Unfortunately as I begin to read this first one shot, I can see there is no hook. All books need a hook, something to make the readers want to continue reading and not stop. There's no hook here. I feel the sentence used is more than a statement, than a hook.
Kageyama looked down at the shorter male and growled.

Now then, who is Kageyama? Is he human? Is he some sort of vampire or werewolf? What does he look like? Who is he and what is he?

I can see they are playing some sort of game but I don't know what.

I am sorry but I have no idea what is happening in this story or who these characters are. There is a lot of telling the story, but there isn't a lot of description here at all. I understand that the two boys like each other but I don't know what they like about each other as that hasn't been explained. Three other characters are also mentioned within this one shot but they appear randomly. I don't know who Suga is, I don't know who Nishinoya is or Tanaka or what any of these characters look like. Please try and understand that not all of your readers will know who these characters are. It would be a lot better for you as a writer and for this book if you were to make it so it's easier for everyone to read, instead of it just purely being for the fans of whichever fandom this is.

Unfortunately I am struggling to make sense of this story and I am going to end the review at the first one shot.