The Death Of Me {Jamilton}

I Swear I'm Fine

{Alexander's POV}

Do you know those days where you wake up just knowing something is going to go wrong? Now, what about a day where you know something is wrong and yet you're still determined to say fuck it? Yeah, that would be my day right now. I woke up with a small headache, however, that wasn't unusual, I worked either at my job or on homework more often than I slept, the headaches I got were always stress-related. My mother seemed to be rather tired despite likely just waking up a few moments ago, knowing her usual sleep patterns, either that or she hadn't bothered to change out of her pajamas yet, which was rather unusual seeing as she worked three jobs daily, she needed to, it was just the two of us and new york was expensive.

I grabbed my dark green backpack, checking to make sure I had everything, double-checking in fact, I didn't need to be halfway to school only to realize I'd forgotten something important and cause myself to be late. I looked into the living room after having confirmed that I wasn't forgetting anything, "I'm gonna head out Ma."

"Okay, have a good day my petit lion, and don't get home too late." She gave me a small smile, "If you do I just might have to ground you for once."

"You'd have to come and find me first!" I snickered, gently smirking, my mother and I could joke around for hours on end if we had that much time to spend together, I loved her more than anything. I waved then proceeded to turn and walk out of the small apartment. I closed the door behind me, my bag slung over my shoulder, I reached into the pocket of my baggy dark green hoodie, pulling out a black hair tie so I could pull my shoulder, length dark brown--one could say almost inky black--hair into a messy ponytail, it helped keep it out of my face, and I'd take it, at least I wouldn't be choking on my own hair or some ridiculous shit like that.

It took maybe twenty minutes to half an hour to walk, thank god I had woken up on time, otherwise, I probably would've ended up late, normally if I stayed up past one am on a school night I just didn't sleep, last night I'd nearly stayed up till one-thirty in the morning, but I suppose I was more tired than I thought and before I knew it I was waking up in bed. I had had to get a scholarship to attend Miranda Highschool, a prestigious private high school, so I knew that if I screwed up much there was a high chance I was out, and I really didn't need to cause my mother that kind of stress, not after what we had escaped by leaving Nevis.

Get your shit together Alex, it's just like any other day... Are you gonna puke? No? No. You're just hungry because your dumb ass forgot to grab breakfast.

I rushed into class, I wasn't about to miss that final bell and risk detention, I had my job to get to after school ended. Sitting down I felt a tad light-headed, but I tried to shake it off as nerves for my debate today, even though I had never once previously been nervous about a single one of these things, I was facing Thomas Jefferson, the most popular guy in the damn school, but I had irrefutable evidence for my stance, plus I enjoyed pissing him off, his reactions when he realized he was going to lose were absolutely priceless, so I had no reason to be nervous, in fact, I should be excited about this class, I'd get to laugh my ass off as Thomas's face contorted into shocking disappointment. Sure, normal people have friends to entertain themselves, but I don't need friends, one, they distract me, and two, humiliating Thomas Jefferson in front of everyone was entertaining enough.

"Today's debate pair is Mr. Hamilton and Mr. Jefferson." Mr. Washington spoke, looking at all the students who sat in front of him in the rows of desks, "Are you two ready?"

"I've been ready since last week when we were assigned the debate, Mr. Washington," Thomas spoke with such confidence, I hated the pompous dick's attitude, he acted like he was all that. I will, unfortunately, admit that he isn't, unfortunately, looking, in fact, I could see myself attracted to a guy with his looks, but his personality took him to negative attractive points.

"Alexander?"

I hadn't really heard my name called, cause I started feeling a bit foggy-headed, and had my face buried in my arms. It was like Mr. Washington's voice went in through one ear and out the other, or even just flew past in a blurry foggy mess.

"Alexander?"

I shut my eyes tight willing the sudden worsening of my headache away, not that it was all too effective.

"Alexander!"

"Hm?" I looked up quickly, blinking my eyes tiredly.

"Are you ready for your debate or should we wait until tomorrow?"

"Oh, no... No, we can do the debate now... Sorry." I quickly pushed myself out of my seat and walked towards the front of the room and sat in a chair at one side of a table that was set up, now face to face with Thomas. I wanted to pull my hood up due to the classroom being rather chilly, but I was aware that I wasn't supposed to.

I didn't really listen to all of what Jefferson was saying as he started the debate, I felt like passing out and/or puking, maybe both, but I wasn't the type to call out of a debate, no way, this class was far too important to me, I loved it, and I wasn't letting a mixture of stress and a lack of sleep ruin this for me, I had been working on this debate for several days, revising over and over to ensure I had the correct words, I didn't care if I was slowly getting to the point of being achingly nauseous the closer it got to my turn to speak.

"--so you can see, it's obvious as to why these changes would make the system much easier to follow, nothin' more, nothin' less."

I stared at Thomas a moment as I was told it was my turn to respond, I sighed, standing, "You must be out of your GODDAMN MIND!--" 

"Hamilton! Language!" Mr. Washington exclaimed, looking at me with disapproval in his gaze.

"--Sorry... Anyways as I was about to say..." I paused to take a breath so I could begin my rant, however, I had to gulp to try and keep the bile from rising higher in my throat.

"Aw, is little Hamiton scared?" Thomas teased, "Cat got your tongue, or did you just realize that I'm right?"

"Shut up..." I mutter quickly, my voice was rather wispy, as I was trying my best to avoid puking all over the thin carpet, my face was buried into my hands already to block out the lights of the room.

"Just admit that I'm right then."

"No."

"Admit it."

"Just shut--..." I winced, and then felt my knees buckle, causing me to collapse to the ground, I might have heard my name shouted, I'm not quite sure, because before I'd even hit the ground I was out.