The Death Of Me {Jamilton}

I Swear I'm Not Okay

{A/N: Holy shit, over a hundred reads? Honestly, thank you all so much for even considering to read, it means a lot! I guess if you guys would like I could do something like a QnA for the occasion? If you all would like that, simply comment a question or two, if you wouldn't like a QnA you can simply not comment.}

{Thomas's POV}

My question as to whether Rachel had simply gotten worse or had actually passed didn't get to be answered, today was Sunday, two days after Alexander had gotten called out of debate class for urgent news that I doubt could be about anyone or anything other than his mother. Alex didn't really text me as was, just the occasional one, but normally only after I texted first... So it was no surprise that I didn't receive any explanation, I had texted him though, asking if everything was alright, he hadn't even read the texts, I don't know anyone who lets text notifications sit for longer than a day--well, I suppose that wasn't true because Alexander had done just that and I knew him--I glanced at my phone with a sigh.

Friday | 8:00 AM
Me | Hey Alexander, what happened?
Me | Is it about your mother?
Me | Is she okay?

Friday | 12:13 PM
Me | Any news?
Me | Is Rachel okay? Is she... Gone?

Friday | 3:46 PM
Me | Are you okay?

Saturday | 7:51 AM
Me | Morning Alex, any news on your mother?
Me | Are you okay by the way?

Saturday | 1:27 PM
Me | Are you ignoring me?
Me | I'm just trying to check up on you

Sunday | 11:37 AM
Me | Hey Alex

I bit at my lip as I thought of what to send next, I knew he hadn't been answering so maybe another text was worthless, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about him.

[I hope you're doing oka|]

No.

[Listen, I'm getting a bit worried|]

What if he thinks I'm being ridiculous sending a text like that? What the fuck is that thought? Since when was I concerned about whether Alexander thought I was ridiculous-...

Sunday | 11:46 AM
Me | Listen, I'm getting a bit worried

Oh shit...

I looked at my phone screen with dread, I was debating whether I cared what Alex thought of that text, but now that I'd accidentally sent the text, I had to begrudgingly admit to myself that I did care... Why? I haven't the slightest clue.

At least he hadn't been reading my other texts, maybe he would even notice it, why would this one matter any more than the previous ones? I let myself fall back onto my bed, my phone falling onto my chest.

Sunday | 11:52 AM
Hamilton | You seem desperate for an answer...
Hamilton | Can you come meet me? Corner of West 36th Street.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone gave two loud buzzes, I quickly picked my phone back up and looked at it, he actually answered? Now that was quite the surprise, after all, he hadn't so much as read any of my other texts until just now.

Sunday | 11:53 AM
Me | I'll be right there, shouldn't take much longer than ten or fifteen minutes
Hamilton | Ok.

I stuffed my phone in my pocket as I stood from my bed, grabbing my coat--a magenta London fog trench--and buttoning it up before shoving my keys into the pocket.
It wasn't long until I was on the road, doing my best not to let my distracting thoughts pull me into checking my phone, it hadn't buzzed since Alexander had said Ok, and I hadn't silenced my phone, so obviously I hadn't gotten any new texts anyways. I just had to keep reminding myself to keep my eyes on the road, I'd never struggled with this before, but I hadn't heard from the guy since he nearly cried in class as he was asked to come to the office for an urgent matter, I had reason to worry, didn't I?