The Death Of Me {Jamilton}

Winter? Fuck That Shit I'm Out

{Alex's POV}

Thomas had left after a while, he offered me a ride, but I didn't take him up on it, because as I had since she'd been admitted, I was going to stay with my mother in that bland room. She'd fallen asleep, so the only sounds were the beeping of the different machines.

I let out a sigh, grabbing my notebook and beginning to write about that day, letting my thoughts wander and flow with the words that got scrawled on the lined pages. I started to wonder if Thomas wasn't being annoying today because we were in the hospital, or out of pity perhaps? It was probably pity, we never liked each other, and sure he was going to help me a bit, but that didn't mean we had to like each other, if I was right and it was pity, that was actually upsetting to me, I hated being pitied by people, I didn't need people who only seemed to care because I was going through a rough time, I didn't need sympathy. Sympathy didn't heal my mom.

Before you start claiming that I was being pathetic, put yourself in my shoes. My mother is withering away on a hospital bed, what are sorry's and sympathetic looks going to do about that? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

The night whittled away, I wrote the entire night, sleep just didn't come, something felt wrong, off, however you wanted to put it, but I had to convince myself that it was just paranoia, it had to be, especially after what had happened yesterday.

I was considering just staying there, but I remembered that my mother wouldn't want that, she wanted me to have a successful future, and as part of that she wanted me to not miss school unless I had to, staying at the hospital with her for a week had already been pushing it for her.

I had my stuff ready and slung my bag over my shoulder before walking to my mom's bedside, it'd only been just over a week and she looked so weak and frail. It broke my heart. I gently kissed her forehead, since she was still asleep saying goodbye was futile.

I walked out of the hospital as quickly as possible, I didn't want to talk to any of the staff, no I wasn't mad at them, I knew that they were doing their best for my mother, but that didn't mean I wanted to speak with them right now, it brought back the issue of pity and sympathy, they were always giving me the most pitiful looks when they saw me, oh it's that Hamilton kid, the one with the sickly dying mother.

The breeze was a bit chillier than normal, which I was not a fan of, Nevis usually stayed between 77° and 85°, so it really just didn't get cold there, which was completely different to New York. I shoved my hands into my hoodie's front pocket, but unfortunately for me, it was pretty thin, because I'd never need anything much more than that, plus I didn't just have sixty dollars to shell out on a new jacket.

I glanced around as I walked, noticing a crow fly down to a branch on a nearby tree, causing some of the sparse leaves to fall to the ground, perhaps most people wouldn't notice something as minor as a single crow, but I tried to pay attention to the small things, especially when I need to distract myself from unwelcome thoughts.

Begrudgingly I pulled my hands out of my pocket for a moment so that I could undo my ponytail, so at least my neck and ears were covered, I glanced at my hands and noticed that my fingers had already gone red, my nose probably had as well. I hated the cold. What did the cold really do for the world? Nevis didn't get cold like this and it wasn't the worst place in the world... Not great, but at least on top of the rest of the stuff there we didn't have blizzards.

Nevis didn't have perfect memories for me, sometimes just thinking about it could put me in a bad mood, but right now I was really missing its warm weather, the cold was the absolute worst, and if you want to argue with me on that I am willing to completely murder you with a six-hour rant about how wrong you are.

My breath came out in visible clouds, I was wishing for this torture of walking to school in the cold to end, and suddenly a car came to a stop in the street beside me.

"Alexander!"

{Thomas's POV}

Today was colder than on average, so I decided very quickly that I was driving to school today. As I looked out the front window, watching the road, I began thinking about what Rachel had said to me yesterday, take care of Alex, I knew from first glances that she wasn't doing well, but she sounded certain that she wasn't going to get better, that she was going to die, I gotta say, it was sad. How do you not get sad when someone tells you that they're going to die and ask you to just watch over someone they love because they want them to be okay when they're gone? That shit is depressing.

I had the heater on in my car, right now I was really thankful for the automobile because I'd hate to be walking, even with a coat, pretty soon we'd be seeing snow, I wouldn't be surprised if it started snowing today or tomorrow, actually, I'd be more surprised if I didn't wake up to snow covering the ground tomorrow.

As I was driving however I spotted a certain Alexander walking by himself, shivering like a small dog that had never known cold before. I rolled my eyes and lowered my window, "Alexander!"

He seemed surprised at first and I almost laughed a bit at the way he slightly jumped at my shout.

"What? Thomas? What do you want?"

"You look like you've never been cold before!" I considered what Rachel had asked of me yesterday and decided to also offer him a ride, "Do you want a ride to school?"

"Why would I-?" He cut himself off, "Yeah, fine, I'll take the ride, but only because this cold is ridiculous!"

I pulled over when he took my offer and let him get in, before of course continuing the drive, "So why were you shivering like a chihuahua?"

"If you must know, I'm from St. Kitts and Nevis, you know, the Caribbean... The coldest it got was 77°." He sort of muttered.

"Oh shit, really? So it was like a constant summer there?"

"Yeah, constant summer with a side of hurricane."

"What?" I arched a brow, glancing at him before returning my gaze to the road.

"Nothing!"

"No, what'd you just say? Hurricane?"

"I didn't say anything, just forget about it!" By his tone of voice, he seemed to clearly not want to talk about this.

"... Fine... I didn't hear anything..." I certainly did hear him say hurricane, but I had decided not to push further, it seemed like a sore spot, and I didn't want him to blow up on me, especially when I was driving, I didn't want a distraction like that causing a crash.

Soon the school came into sight, but instead of classes, what was on my mind was researching Hurricanes, specifically in St. Kitts and Nevis, because now I was curious, if Alexander didn't want to say anything about it. Fine. I could find out other ways... At least I hoped.

{A/N: Hey guys! I know this chapter took longer to come out, I don't have much of an excuse other than that I was giving myself a bit of a breather. I plan to update with the next chapter either tomorrow or the day after that, the next one is planned to be longer. I hope to have a better posting schedule soon, but for now, I can just say: several times a week. As always, please consider commenting, voting, and maybe even following. Have a lovely day!}