It's been over a week since i spoke to Apollo, i always look for ways to avoid him, both in the hallways and drama class.He always looked for ways to talk to me but never got a word out of me. After leaving campus that day, i went back to my apartment planning to sleep the day out, but those plans changed when ethan and the guys brought ice cream and snacks, while selene and maddy brought the movies ,we had a movie night, laughing, talking, yelling making me almost forget what that day was, key word being "almost"...i was snapped out of thought by the audience applause,looking around me i spot Mr Grey going through the setting of the play, i was still focused on Mr grey when i felt a presence by my side, turning my gaze, I'm met with the face of the person i was successful to avoid all through this week and was hoping to keep avoiding, "hey!" he said looking at me, directing my gaze back to mr grey i nod my head
"hi" i was about going when he stopped me taking my hand.
"why have you been avoiding me,did i do something wrong?"he said looking hurt and that only made me feel bad, it's not like i wanted to avoid him, i just wanted my space, still do and i don't know if I'm ready to tell him everything.
Shaking my head "no, god no you didn't do anything wrong, and I'm sorry about avoiding you,its just this past week has been hard and i just needed a me time"he nodded in understanding, opening his mouth to talk again Mr Grey called us back stage, cutting whatever he was about to say off.
I squeezed his hands lightly "good luck"i told him before leaving his presence.
🍀🍀
I was lying in bed, alone in my apartment Maddy had gone on a date with Derek and wouldn't be back till 12,looking at my phone i see its only 10pm,drifting back to the play, after we had finished performing i had left immediately not wanting to talk to apollo,nor Kyle or Cole. I was still thinking about if i made the right choice leaving or if i should have stayed to hear what he had to say when i heard a knock on my front door, getting up from bed i leave my room, wondering why maddy is early and why she's even knocking since she has her key, the knock came again only this time it was more urgent and louder.
"I'm coming, I'm coming -unlocking the door i swing it open.-maddy don't you have your key and why you even back so soo..n" I trailed off because i didn't expect to see apollo standing in front of my apartment door, he scratched the back of his neck"hey!",I look at him with furrowed brows confused as to why he's here "uhm hi?" I say more of a question, he looks up, then looks back down"sorry for showing up at such short notice but I didn't see you after the play"
"oh"before i could say more he cuts me off "and I really needed to talk to you" he said only this time his gaze was on me, holding an emotion that i couldn't quite understand.
Nodding my head i let him in, shutting the door i lead him to the sitting room taking a seat on one of the love couch, while he took a seat on the couch across creating distance between us ,I focus my attention on him seeing how anxious his face is, he keeps fidgeting in place looking to be contemplating on what he wants to say, it takes another 2minutes before he talks. "what happened on may 5th" I freeze in place not expecting that from him, he looks at me ,watching my expression carefully,covering up my shocked expression i shrug"nothing ,why did something happen?"he looks at me shaking his head in disapproval to my smart mouth response.
"you know what I'm talking about,something happened on that day. Just please please don't deny it all i want to do is help" I looked at him when he finished talking, i paused for a second processing what he had just said then bursted into a laughing fit, he was taken aback as to why i was laughing seeing as the atmosphere and what he said wasn't something to laugh about, but the thing is he wouldn't get it because to me it was funny hell it was hysterical, seeing as there was no point in faking stupid i spoke after i had toned down my laugh"I'm sorry,but there's nothing you or anyone can do to help.what's done is done, nothing's going to change what happened, nothing is going to change the past.And you see that's the thing about life it hits you in the place you least expect but in all it teaches us something-I pause for a second then shrug.-and that is not everyone gets a happy ending" I didn't even realize i was crying when i had finished talking. Apollo engulfed me in his hands holding me close,i felt... what's the word I'm looking for... Safe. Yh I felt safe in his hands.Two minutes passed in silence neither of us making any move to talk until he finally spoke but it was more of a whisper"let me in" it sounded more of a plead, i entangled myself from his hold shaking my head letting people in caused me everything i can't let that happen again "why do you care"i snapped catching him by suprise ,he shook the shocked look from his face trying to hold me but i only moved away creating a perfect distance. Hurt, confusion and an unreadable emotion flashed through his eyes.
"why do you care?"i asked again,he opened his mouth to say something then closed it back again, shaking his head he sighed still standing he looked at me with the same unreadable emotion only this time it was intense,what he said next knocked me out completely.
"Because i love you".
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Seating on the sands looking at the ocean, the waves,the sky just thinking, thinking about everything.I remember the first time carter took me here it was after our first date, he used to say that one day he'll get lost in the ocean ,funny how that saying was accurate.
"Hey carter!,it's been two years now since i lost you yet it still feels like that happened yesterday, I'm still hurting refusing to heal no matter how hard i try i still can't let go.You know what's funny i keep waking up hoping, praying to see you by my side in bed smiling and telling me that your here and your not going anywhere that all this is just a bad dream"i say looking at the ocean,then my vision started getting blurry with tears, letting them go, letting them flow freely not holding them in "I miss your laugh,i miss your touch, i miss your sarcasm, i miss your hugs, i miss our talks, i miss your kisses,i miss yo..u"i croak out, bawling my eyes out i hold unto my locket opening it i see the picture we took at the fair, running my fingers through it "wherever life takes us dead or alive, together or not,you will always have my heart cause i love you always"i say before kissing it. Looking at the ocean i smile sadly before cleaning my eyes,i get up and make my way back to my car carrying with me more of a broken heart than relief...
Xoxo.
Esther💟
