I always loved the beach, the sands, the skys,the people, the ocean everything about it. It was a place where memories were made.Happy memories. But sadly that wasn't in mine.
Sitting on the sands with my head inbetween my knees, bawling my eyes out,i don't know how long i had been out there crying but i didn't care because everything and i mean everything reminded me of him and it hurt so bad. I missed him so much.
I felt a presence beside me but didn't turn around to look instead."How did you find me?" I asked apollo,my head still tucked inbetween my knees.
I felt him take a seat beside me
"Ethan" he answered
I looked up slightly but didn't look at him "How did he know?"
He sighed "I called him, told him everything.He told me you would be here"I nodded my gaze directed to the ocean.
I could feel him holding back on something,sighing" just say what's on your mind already, no need to hold back now"
I turned my gaze to him, he took a sharp intake of breath when he saw how recked i looked.He took my chin in his hands feature soften the only difference was that his eyes still held fear and i still didn't know why.
"What happened on may 5th?" he asked hesitantly, which only made another batch of tears fall down my face, using his thumbs to wipe them clean, eyes still on me but only this time with another emotion despiracy "please".
My gaze still on his, hands still on my chin, i closed my eyes nodding taking his hands from my chin i focused my gaze back to the ocean then laughed slightly
"Everything changed "
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When i was done, i didn't feel lighter like most people did,instead i felt even worse relieving that memory again only brought me more pain not relief.
I guess not everything stories or movies said were true.
Apollo hadn't said anything but i didn't bother to turn my gaze to him, my focus was still on the ocean, but i was curious as to what his expression held so i turned back to him, only to meet him staring at the ocean, fist balled teeth clenching and unclenching but then he turned around and his features softened. But what shocked me was the emotions he held, there was no pity only anger,sadness and fear.
Turning my head back around i kept my focus on the sand.
We were quiet for a few minutes before apollo spoke "This place, this beach. Is were he was killed? He asked hesitantly, I nodded my head not trusting my voice, pointing towards the other side of the beach were stones layed around,apollo followed my hands nodding his head in understanding.Feeling his hand on my shoulder i was pulled to him. Embracing me in his holds i broke down, setting my tears free,shaking in all parts of my body which only made his hold on me tighten.
"I could have stopped him, i could have prevented everything, could have changed everything" I said still bawling my eyes out "everything happened because of me, it was all my fault" Apollo loosened his grip on me taking my chin again and directing my gaze to his "Listen to me, it was not your fault, you never knew any of that would happen.His death was not your fault" he said staring intently at me before bringing me closer to him, my head resting on his chest with tears still streaming down my face.
After i was able to stop my tears i looked up on to meet his gaze on the ocean. He looked lost.
"how did you know about that date?" getting his attention, he looked down at me,then back out to the ocean.
"Mr grey" I looked at him questioning, because if Mr grey told him about that date then he would have known the story already.He shook his head knowing what was probably going on in my head. "He told me about the date but not what happened. He said it wasn't his story to tell".
I nodded, then entangled myself from his hold focusing my attention back to the ocean, hands unconsciously touching my locket, twirling it around my fingers.
"He gave you that" I looked up meeting Apollo's gaze directly on my locket.
"Yh,he gave this to me on our 1yr anniversary"I said, smiling in remembrance of that day he gave me, apollo nodded his head then focused his attention on my face, "I wish i could make everything better other than comfort" He said with pain in his eyes " I wish i could take away all your hurt. I'm-he paused looking me in the eye,all i could see was fear.-"I'm scared that nothing i do will ever change anything and i have accepted that" he said taking my face in his hands "but that doesn't mean i won't keep trying.I gave you my word,remember?,I'm willing to wait for as long as it takes me proving to you just how much you mean to me-.he paused kissing my forehead."-cause I'll always be there" by the time he had finished i had fresh tears already welling up in my eyes.
"Why do you want to keep torturing yourself?,don't you see? I'm still stuck in the past, i won't be able to show you that love you deserve. Don't you see i don't deserve you" I said tears streaming down my face "Why can't you see that?".
He looked at me, using his thumbs to wipe away my tears "Because you're worth it,and honestly i don't care if you won't feel the same way, that won't make me love you less.Because honestly i don't plan on letting go, not now not ever"he finished resting his forehead on mine before putting his lips on it leaving it for long then pulling back, I was about to say something when i heard the faint call of my name turning to the direction of were i was hearing it from i saw ethan running towards us but stopped when he saw me and Apollo's close proximity, i could have sworn that i saw a slight smile on his face before it was gone. Shaking that feeling from my head i turned back to Apollo.
"I guess we had better start going" i said getting up ,he nodded but didn't get up, i looked at him expectantly .
"You go ahead I'm still gonna stay awhile" I was about to argue when he took my hand squeezing it in reassurance "it's fine, I'll see you monday" I looked at him confused as to why Monday and not tomorrow "I'm going to see my dad and i won't be back until Sunday night".
I nodded making an o expression causing him to smile, i contemplated on what i was about to do but did it anyway, bending down i hugged him catching him by suprise it took him a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back i felt that feeling i felt the first time i was in his arms.safe.
" Thank you" I said hugging him tighter.
"Always" he said, I smiled sadly not letting myself to cry again.
I let go standing back up "I'll see you soon" I said turning around and making my way to ethan who had been watching our whole interaction and from the looks of it was happy about it.
Hope you guys liked this chapter, keep your likes and comments coming.
Xoxo.
Esther💟
