Monday came but i didn't see apollo,but I did see Kyle and Cole and when i asked about him they said he was still back in Boston apparently that's were his father lived. I tried calling him to ask when he'll be back but he never picked up, then i sent him a message but never got a reply.I asked myself if he was avoiding me but thought against it knowing i did nothing wrong cause the last i remember we hugged before i left with ethan that day and even if he's avoiding me isn't that what i wanted, but then why do i feel the opposite.
It had been over a week since i saw and heard from apollo,i kept asking Kyle and Cole both still saying the same thing.
I still kept calling him, texting him i was beyond worried, my mind kept messing with me,questioning me. I kept asking myself that what if he's hurt, that what if something bad happened to him and Kyle and Cole are just keeping it from me covering it up with him still being in Boston. I kept panicking, worrying until one night,he called.
"Oh my god, i have been so worried about you. What happened?, were are you?,are you ok?" I ranted which only made him laugh but the laugh didn't sound like his usual full of life it sounded different like he was tired.
"What's wrong apollo?" I braced myself for whatever he had to say.He sighed "My dad got in an accident last week, I'm sorry i didn't call or text i have just been so busy with the whole thing" well I did get something right, only difference was it wasn't him.
"Oh my god is he OK?" Not caring anymore about him not calling or texting me for the past week.
"Yh, he's getting better. The doctor said he'll be out before Friday"He said.Nodding my head then stopped realising he couldn't see me.
"oh my god that's great" he laughed and this time i could hear more life in it, which made me smile.
"Yh it is, so I'll probably be back Saturday"
"Alright" I said
"I gotta go april, but I'll see you soon. Okay?" I was a little bummed by it but answered nonthingless."okay".
"Alright i love you" he said before cutting the call.
I removed the phone from my ear feeling satisfied that i got to hear his voice though it was for a short time but still it was good enough. The only thing that was confusing was the fact that he used the word I love you and we weren't even together, but the more confusing part was why i suddenly felt warm inside and why i still had a stupid smile on my face...
🍀🍀
It had been over two hours since i spoke to Apollo, and over two hours since i kept asking myself why i felt that way after the call but shoved the feeling aside for another time. I was alone in my apartment,maddy had gone out with Derek and i had called selene asking her if she wanted to hang out because it had been long since i last saw her and since we hung out but she already had plans with her family and Lucas was going with her, i guess they were already taking their relationship to the next level. Which left me with ethan, who luckily for me was free,all i had to do was wait for him, i was still lost in thought when the door to my room was swung open and in walked Ethan jumping on my bed.
"Wait how'd you get in?, And how come i didn't hear you open the front door?" I asked ethan, who only looked at me and shook his head at my oblivious state.
"Well firstly i have a spare key to your apartment which i didn't need to use since your front door was opened, secondly from the way you were startled when i walked in only means you were lost in thought which explains why you didn't hear me come in" he explained with a smirk on his face "so what were you thinking of that got you so lost in thought"he asked
I paused contemplating on whether i should just say it or not, then shrugged "Nothing important" Ethan looked at me then nodded not pushing any further "But you know that whatever it is that's bothering you, you can tell me.No secrets remember"
I nodded"Yh"
"So what movie are we gonna watch?" Ethan asked, thankful for the change of topic.
"Well we got Annabelle, conjuring, despicable me and palm spring" I said
"Well that's a weird selection of movies but it will do" Ethan said, making me laugh which helped in lifting the tension that was already building up.We left to the living room, me going to the kitchen to get snacks while ethan set up the movie,settling for palms spring first,then conjuring next my attention were completely on the movies then i started drifting away in thoughts in the third movie, i was still lost in thought when i felt a hand on my shoulder which brought my attention back, turning my gaze to ethan who had a worried expression on his face "You ok?" forcing a smile on my face i nodded"Yh" Ethan looked at me not buying my bullshit of a smile he paused the movie then turned to me a serious expression taking over his face.
"No secrets remember,what were you thinking of?" he asked looking at me.
"What were you going to say about apollo a week ago?" I questioned back not answering him, he looked at me then sighed in defeat breaking my gaze.
"You really wanna know?" he asked turning back to me but this time it wasn't with his serious expression but with a hopeful one.
Nodding my head "Yh i really do"
He directed his gaze to the tv.
"How do you feel about apollo?" he asked which took me by suprise not expecting that sort of question,but still answered.
" Well he's ok, he's a really good friend"i answered.
He shook his head by my answer "No not like that" he said looking intently at me like that would make me understand him,but it did eventually ,i understood what he meant but why he asked was beyond my knowledge.
"Were are you going with this?" I asked confused.
"Look A, i love you and i only want what's best for you" he said looking at me,i nodded because i knew that was true, "But why not give apollo a chance, he's a good guy and you know it, i see the way he looks at you like your the only thing that matters to him in the world he's hopelessly in love with you A, and i know you know it too" he said, I was quiet processing what he had just said before shrugging "I'm not ready to move on" I said simply,which only brought pain to his eyes.
"Why does it even matter" I said looking at ethan.
"It matters because your my best friend and seeing you holding back, hurting refusing to heal it breaks me apart.Its been over two years A, i miss him too you know every fucking day, every fucking time, not being able to see him again hurts so much, you weren't the only one that was robbed of him i too was, Derek, Maddy, Selene and Lucas were robbed of him too, we lost him too A ,but we healed and that didn't mean we forgot about him NO, he's forever in our heart in my heart and if i had the to change anything i would change that night, i would in a heartbeat. He was my brother and will always be,but it's time to move on A,it's time to let go" by the time has finished i already had tears welling up in my eyes, his face was already soaked with a few of his tears.I had never seen ethan sad or cry he was always happy, always optimistic but that all changed when carter died,his death scarred each and every one of us and while some were able to try and heal i didn't and i guess i wasn't willing to.
"I don't know how" I said, Ethan shook his head"You do,your just not willing to" I guess he knew me too well.. I didn't say anything and neither did he, we stayed like that for a few minutes until he spoke "Just answer this one question and if it's a no then i won't bother you about it again -.he paused. -"do you love him?" I was quiet not answering his question because i too was yet to figure it out, did i love apollo? i didn't know but a part of me knew that i had the answer already but just didn't want to say it. I turned my gaze to ethan who already had his eyes on me."well for me i know you love him and i know you do too. He makes you happy, brings out the old you ,in all he's good for you and if that isn't worth taking risk for then i don't know what is" He finished then dug into his sweatspocket bringing out a camera,giving it to me "Carter made this for you as an anniversary gift" I took it in my hands looking at it before looking back at ethan who was already standing up,bending down to give me a kiss on the head "I know you'll make the right choice" he said before leaving my apartment, I didn't even bother to turn off the TV or clean up the mess we made, i just went to my room locking my door before breaking down in tears. I knew Ethan was right, everything he said was true the only one that i doubted was true was the last thing he said before leaving because i honestly didn't know if i would..
Xoxo.
Esther💟
