I made my way to the two story house,after i had called Mrs pines i had told her i'd come visit the next day which is why i was standing by her door,taking a deep breath i was about to ring the door bell when the door was swung open and i was engulfed in a bone crushing hug which made me loose my balance but i steadied myself then i wrapped my hands around her hugging her just as tightly as she was hugging me.I felt tears welling up in my eyes as i looked down at her, Casey Carter's 15years old sister who i hadn't seen since after the funeral,i tightened my hold on her not feeling like letting go i think she felt the same way with how she buried herself deeper into my hold,we were like that for i don't know how long until Carmen(Mrs pines) came into view smiling in my direction entangling myself from Casey's embrace i made my way to her hugging her tightly, after pulling away she kissed my forehead" It's good to see you again sweetheart" she said i only nodded in response "well i was making lunch so I'll be right back" she said before making her way to the kitchen
Still standing i couldn't help but look around,noticing how different it looked,all the furniture's were gone in all everything looked new. Still looking around my eyes landed on Casey who was already looking at me with a mixture of sadness and happiness in her eyes,i was about to ask her if she was ok when she spoke
"I missed you" she said eyes still fixated on me "There were times when i hoped that you would visit ,maybe come and check up on me and mom-.she paused eyes brimming with tears.-"after the funeral you left-you left and never came back until now" if guilt could kill I'd probably be six feet under with how torn up she looked,making my way to her i pulled her to my embrace "I'm sorry,I'm so sorry i never came over, I'm so sorry" I could feel tears welling up in my eyes threatening to fall as i tightened my hold on her
"Its ok ,you were hurting too and you needed your space" she said
I shook my head ready to argue with her before i was cut off again but this time i noticed her tighten her grip on me before she spoke "I miss him" I felt my heart shatter at the thought of him,yh I always thought about him but not like this never like this,feeling another batch of tears make their way to my eyes i let them fall freely not holding them back
"I miss him so much" she croaked out making me grip her even more tightly "its been two years now,two years since we lost him but it still feels like yesterday,i have tried to move on and forget but i can't because every single thing just reminds me of him and it hurts even more" she entangled herself a little from me raising her head up slightly to meet my gaze making my heart ache even more when i saw how torn up she looked.She smiled sadly "yunno there was a time in my life when i hated change,hated,meeting new people and most especially new environment but-.she paused disentangling herself completely from my hold."-but i'm glad we're moving,glad i get to leave all this behind at least it will help me get the closure i need" she said nodding her head as she looked around "all i need are the good memories not the bad and i have them all already " she finished turning her eyes to mine smiling a little with tears falling down her face,i closed the distance between us using the pad of my thumbs to wipe away her tears before engulfing her in a hug,she clutched onto me as she sobbed -bringing my hands to her head i stroked it softly "I'm so proud of you" I said honestly kissing her hair he would too. "And everything's going to be okay-.I paused contemplating my next words because i wasn't so sure but for some reason i felt the need to say it because this time i knew i was right,cause this time i felt hope in those two words " I promise".
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It had been over two minutes and we were still in eachothers embrace tears gone,though the atmosphere was still sad but it was still better than it was in the beginning because we both felt relief and hope. I was about to talk when Carmen walked in carrying a tray of food and drinks, she was about to call on us but stopped when she saw us and the position we were in and how messed up our face looked, breaking our embrace Casey made her way to her mother taking her food and drink giving her mom a peck on the cheek before making her way probably to her room without another look back,i then directed my gaze to Carmen who still had her eyes fixated on the stairs Casey went up to,making my way to her i took the tray from her hand getting her attention before making my way to the dining with her behind me we took our seat neither of us saying anything,10minutes passed and we were still quiet,foods untouched guess neither of us were hungry. I was about to break the silence when she spoke "There were times she wouldn't talk to anyone, always locked up in her room refusing to let anyone in including me"she said her eyes brimming with tears "after the funeral she shot down completely,i thought i had lost her-.she paused the unshed tears making their way down her face. -"I knew i had lost her, there were times when she would lock herself in his room crying and it broke me even more because she was hurting -she was hurting and she wouldn't let me comfort her. She lost her father and the only father figure that she had" tears kept flowing down her face as she spoke making me get up and hug her tears already welling up in my eyes "it took her so long-so long but then she started coming around, started breaking down her walls in all she let me in-". she paused smiling slightly before continuing.-"So I did the only thing that could be done and sold the house and decided to move all the way to london in other to help her heal and start over" She finished her tears already gone but was still in my embrace, I couldn't help but admire her and her strength all what she did, all what she had to go through and yet she's still the same only difference is that she was stronger.
"How do you do it?" I asked her "How do you" she had entangled herself from my embrace directing her gaze on me she smiled sadly "I never really had a choice, when I lost my husband it ruined me,i lost it but then I had to get my head together because of carter and casey, I had to gain closure,had to let go and it was easier because i had both my children with me-then I lost my son and i wanted to give up, wanted to loose it but i couldn't" she shook her head "I just couldn't i had casey and needed to be strong for her. I lost almost all part of me the remaining belonging to casey and that keeps me going cause she the only one i have left-.she paused then smiled but this time it wasn't a sad one this time it was genuine .-"And to answer your question it's the memories,how i do it is because of the memories. Death may have taken my rocks but it could never takeaway the memories -my memories.And they will live on until my last breath" I was quiet after she had finished talking not that i didn't have anything to say but for once in my life after everything i felt different and understanding in all what she said.
I had stayed quiet for over a minute now until Carmen stood up taking our untouched food with her but before she left she paused turning to look at me then smiled " I know you loved my son and he loved you too, i know it will be hard to let go cause i know you still love him and i know it hurts you but always remember the memories, always remember that you still and will always have the memories and that he loved you always did and will always do.So always have that at the back of your mind but most importantly in your heart and let that serve as your yardstick to moving on and letting go"- she paused still having a smile on her face.-"cause he'd want that for you" Then she turned around making her way to the kitchen.
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Carmen and Casey left Sunday night, it was hard saying goodbye to them but i knew it was for the best and they really needed it. After Carmen and i's talk i had made my way upstairs to Carter's room for one last time since i wouldn't be seeing it ever again after today, when i walked in memories hit me hard and i had cried my heart out,all the goods the bad all of them but in all they were still precious to me and always would be, so as i made my way to my drama class still wrapped up in my thoughts i almost missed all the stares i was getting from all the students in the hallway but i didn't pay attention to it, when i had reached my drama class walking in i was met yet again with everyone's gaze including apollo Cole and Kyle,i turned my gaze to Mr Grey who already had his eyes on me but he didn't have his usual smiles, he just stood there with an expressionless face, slightly nervous i made my way to him "Uhm.. Is everything ok?" I asked only making him look at me with confusion
"Didn't you hear?" he asked
"Hear what? What's going on" I was panicking already, hoping that it wasn't anything big cause i don't think i could deal with any more problems
"It's Cameron" my body tensed when he said his name, Mr grey gave me a sad smile which only made me more confused before he continued "He was arrested last night for the murder of carter pines.Someone came forth and testified with proof" I blurred out all what Mr grey was saying all that was going on in my mind was Cameron was arrested, he was gone but this time for good but my only question was how, who but most importantly why now,i didn't know i was crying until Mr grey brought me to his hold embracing me" He's gone A,it's over" I didn't say anything as tears kept streaming down my face,i then entangled myself from his embrace then turned around but only to be met by a pair of green eyes wow i had missed seeing those eyes apollo looked at me about to say something but i shook my head "I'll be fine i just.. i just need to be alone" I said before passing him i think he was about to stop me again but Mr grey said something to him which made him comply and listen.
I made my way out of class and out of campus with only three words in my head
He's finally gone.
Hey guys really hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Keep your likes and comments coming
Xoxo
Esther💟
