Paralyzed Heart

I'm gonna be a bitch!

Mia's POV

My eyes fluttered open and I looked around. I was in my room, in bed, under my cozy quilt. I looked at my right side and found the girls lookingat me closely.

"Shouldn't you be in school right now?" I asked

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay." Rachel said and handed me a glass of chocolate milk.

"Mia as soon as you get better, I think you should pay Mona a visit and talk things over." Rebecca suggested and I nodded. I was definitely going to see her again. 

"You guys should go back to school, I'll be fine." I said

"You sure?" Rachek asked concerned and I gave her an assuring nod. 

They left after giving me a hug as mom entered my room. She sat next to me on the bed and stroked my cheek with her soft, warm hands.

"The girls told me about what happened with you and Jake this morning." Great! she just had to bring that up.

"And?" I replied

"And.....I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She added. 

"I've never been better, infact I think I just made the best decision of my life! I knew I shouldn't have dated Jake, he turned out be like every other guy; a pain in the ass!" I answered harshly but in my defense I was pretty pissed. I wasn't depressed at all about our break up! I used to cry over this shit but seriously Mia Devlin is now never going through that phase! 

"So what are you gonna do now?" She asked. 

"I.....am gonna show everyone my true personality! I've had enough of being all goody goody and now it's time people start taking me seriously around here!" I stated. 

"Mia you were never 'goody goody'. You've always been sarcastic, like really sarcastic and you've always had a strong opinion. What else are you gonna do to yourself?" She said.

"I'm gonna be a bitch." I answered. 

"And you really think people will like you that way?" 

"I don't care what anybody thinks about me! All I know is that I won't let anyone get near me and I most certainly will NOT let anyone love me! No one will be able to break my walls now!" 

"You think you'll survive that way?" 

"I'll survive longer that way as compared to what I am now!" 

"What make you so sure?"

"It's better to be feared than loved......If people fear you, you get used to the pain but when someone loves you and then doesn't .....the pain is unbearable!" 

Mom took a deep breath and exhaled. 

"Mom did you know about Mona?" I wanted to change the topic. 

"What about her?" She asked concerned. 

"She's my step-sister....." I answered. 

"What?! And no I didn't, I haven't even met Meredith yet." She said and started thinking about something. I didn't tell her about Daisy because I felt that she was only important to me and mom had nothing to do with it.

Mom left me after a while to rest and I lay in bed thinking about my oh-so-lovely life. I wasn't sad for what happened between Jake and me for sure. He didn't trust even after everything I had done for him! I wasn't going to cry this time and I was gonna be strong. I wanted to show Jake that he had no effect on me whatsoever!

I was going to shut the world out and make sure I never do the same mistake again. I wanted everyone to take me seriously and if that means I have to scare them away, then so be it! You have to be like this to earn respect otherwise NO ONE stand up for you! Guys look at me like I'm a piece of meat and now I'm gonna show them who's boss!