LOGAN SMITH
It felt so good. It felt so damn good but my stupid ass had to stop that feeling all because am cheating. I have fought this feeling for almost a month but it was so hard to resist the urge to kiss. The way that dress highlighted all her features. I know am being a pervert but she's gorgeous, she's beyond gorgeous.
Her kiss felt so right and yet so wrong but what do they say about feeling so right when doing the wrong thing? I didn't want to stop, the way her lips moved in sync with mine, the way she pulled me towards her by the collar, she must have wanted it. But the way she looked at me when I denied her, she was hurt
"What was I thinking?" I run my hand through my wet hair gaining the courage to go back downstairs. Today really had to be my birthday, I saw the set table as I made my way upstairs and now I have to spend the night with a woman I just hurt. It was a mistake. I have been telling myself that since I walked into the shower but something inside of me is denying that fact. A part of me wants to feel her lips on mine again and even more but there's this other part that is conflicting, the part which is telling me that I have a fiancée to whom I should stay loyal to but how the fuck do I do that when am feeling like shit. Lisa's kiss was intoxicating, I could still feel her soft lips on mine, her small hands pulling me in for more. I groan fighting the rogue thought from my mind. I had to forget it, no I need to forget all of it
I take slow and steady steps not wanting to meet Lisa, when I enter the dining room there's candles lighting up the place and balloons with HAPPY BIRTHDAY inscribed on them
"Happy birthday father," Ella shouts coming out from under the table running towards me
"Thank you princess," I say lifting her to my arms
"Where's your nanny?" I ask when almost immediately Lisa walks in a cake in her hands. God she makes everything look perfect
"I know that you should have cake after dinner but we can bend the rules for tonight," she says a smile on her face but her eyes still holding in pain. I did this to her. She was always happy, always has been but I had to come and wreck things ON MY GODDAMN BIRTHDAY
"Go on, make a wish," she says softly holding the cake in front of me. I only wish for one thing, that whatever feelings I have inside are not gonna mess us up. I open my eyes and blow out the candles. Lisa's smile brightens as she places the cake on the table and turns the lights back on
"Happy birthday sir," she says not looking at me
"Daddy I have a gift for you," Ella says
"What is it?" I ask smiling at my daughter
"I'll go get it," I put her down and she runs upstairs. Maybe I can try to make things right
"Lisa," I call to the woman behind the counter trying to take out some glasses from the shelf
"Yes," she replies not looking at me
"Please look at me," I plead. I already feel bad with myself it's already killing me seeing her like this. I am a jerk
"Yes," she says placing the glasses on the counter hard enough for me to know she's angry but not so hard to break them. I walk to her and stand beside her, her eyes are on me and the closer I get to her the more she stiffens
"Am sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have...
"It's okay sir,"
"Please stop calling me sir, this is already bad enough," I say reaching for arms but she pulls away
"It's okay, Logan you made it clear that it was a mistake. I don't know what came over me and I shouldn't have kissed you back. It was a mistake and we should put whatever that was behind us. Am just here to be a nanny and am sorry if you felt like I had offended...
I cant take it anymore. Her voice is breaking and she's flattering her eyes looking everywhere else except at me as she tries to fight back her tears. She's so fragile and am breaking her. What the fuck was I thinking. I pull her towards me and wrap my arms around her small back. She fists my shirt in her hands still fighting the urge to cry
"I shouldn't be feeling like this," she says her head resting on the crook of my neck. "I don't want to feel like this but I am and it hurts,"
I cup her cheeks wiping away the tears running down her cheeks
"Shh...Shh...It's okay. Am sorry for making you feel like this," I say as if am not fighting the same feelings
"It's okay," she says quickly wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. She takes the glasses and places them on the table totally ignoring my presence
***
"Darling am back," That voice. The voice I had been dreading to hear. The voice belonging to her, my fiancée Colette
Talk about perfect timing
"Logan dear, oh my god I missed you so much," her slim figure appears at the kitchen at the same time as Ella. Ella's smile drops when she sees her soon to be step mom. She has never liked Colette and to be honest me neither
She walks towards me and smashes her lips on mine in a rough sloppy kiss. My eyes find Lisa who's looking at us like she's having a panic attack and I quickly push Colette away. Why am I caring what she feels? It was a mistake... It wasn't
"And hey there Elly," Colette says looking down at Ella. She doesn't even know her name and yet I have to marry her for family relations
"And who's this?" she asks when she spots Lisa
"Colette this is Lisa, Lisa this is Colette," I introduce them as if the situation before wasn't awkward enough
"Hi there," Colette stretches out her hand to Lisa. Lisa slowly shakes it still looking between me and Colette
"Am Colette, Logan's fiancée,"
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Nanny Affair
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