Ruins

17

Being out of there was like a breath of fresh air. It was a breath of fresh air.

As we flew down the road, further and further from the Sanctuary, my head grew heavy and began pounding. Another headache.

We had been on the road for maybe ten minutes before running into a small group of walkers, we had to ride through them since the only weapon we had was a gun.

The ride to the Hilltop wasn't long, and somehow Jesus had actually beat us there.

"Are you guys okay?" He asked, as Daryl stopped the bike. I accepted Jesus' hand getting off and huffed.

"I'm..." I finally caught Daryl's eye and my heart felt like it could fall out of my stomach.

How did we come back from this?

I looked down to my feet and sighed, kicking off the excruciating heels.

"Let's get you guys somewhere to clean up." He said. Daryl parked his bike on the side of Barrington house and once we stepped inside I heard a loud gasp.

My eyes followed the sound to Maggie, standing on the stairs.

"Thank God!" She exclaimed, meeting us in the foyer and wrapping her arms around. "Are you guys okay?" She moved to hug Daryl, where he stood, tensely hugging back.

"We're...." I nodded. "We'll be okay." I answered.

Jesus gave us a room upstairs with a bathroom, the water was cold but it was fine.

"You should clean up." I told Daryl, he was an absolute mess. I could only imagine what else they put him through there. He sat on the bed, looking at the gun that I'd, now, recognized as Rick's. "Daryl..." I breathed. "Look at me."

I waited and sat at the end of the bed with him. "Please, look at me." I begged.

He lifted his wet eyes. "They gave me a picture of Glenn..." He swallowed. "I did that-"

"You didn't." I didn't let him finish. "That is not your fault." I breathed. "Daryl... He was going to do what he was going to do. He's told me that. You cannot blame yourself." I held onto his arm. "Do you hear me?"

"I'm so sorry." He hung his head. "I just let him do that to you-"

"Stop." I growled. "We both know he would've killed you... I-I'm so sorry that..." I bit my lip, sighing. "I'm so sorry that he made you..."

I stopped not knowing what to say. Did Negan ruin us? A whole new feeling overcame me... And I felt guilty for it. I was pregnant. I was having a baby, and it wasn't Daryl's.

"I feel disgusting." I sighed, taking the opportunity to shower if he wouldn't.

The water was cold but it seemed to burn over my skin. No matter how hard I drug the rag over my skin I didn't feel clean.

My heart nearly leapt from my chest as the curtain slid open, revealing a... Very dirty Daryl. He nodded for me to scoot and I let him in. I turned my back to him and felt him take the rag from me, rubbing it over my back gently.

He was silent, a this felt so different than it used to be. We used to be full of love and playful, and now we seemed broken.

I left him to finish cleaning up and found some new clothes, just happy not having to sport a dress anymore.

I finished pulling on some boots that were a little too big, as he walked out in a towel.

The secret that loomed over me was overwhelming. "I- still love you." I blurted, looking up at him.

He glanced at me and grabbed his clothes taking them to the bathroom, leaving me to torture myself with my own thoughts.

"I love you, Sammy." He walked out, buttoning the shirt he was given. "I can't let something happen to you again." He shook his head, sitting next to me. I turned to him, taking a knife from the dresser to tear a hole at the seam of his sleeve, tearing it off for him.

"I can't let anything happen to you either. I don't know what'd I'd do..." I breathed, tearing his other sleeve off.

"We're survivors." He grabbed my hand. "You make me stronger." My face crumpled, hearing his words.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He nodded, pulling me down to kiss me. "Are you okay?" He asked, holding my hips, letting me sit. "I know he hurt you..."

"I'm...amazing." I whispered, leaning my head on him, with full eyes. "But..." My gut wrenched at the thought of having to tell him that monster got me pregnant, after we tried for so long.

"I feel... Cheated." I told him. "I saw Dr. Carson...Harlan's brother, last night. He told me that.... It's really early still but..." I dropped my eyes. "I'm pregnant."

Daryl's hand that was steadily rubbing circles over my back stopped, breaking my heart.

"Daryl, I'm sorry, it's-"

"Don't." He took his hand back. "You don't have to say it." He lifted his face to look at me. "I love you and that's it." He shrugged. "And you're pregnant... We weren't tryin' for nothing right?"

I paused, looking at him for a moment.

"Are you sure?" I shook my head. "I know you love me... But if this is too much, I understand-"

"Hey... We wanted this." He lifted my chin. "I'm good."

I nodded, letting out a sigh and leaning into his shoulder. He was easily the strongest, most selfless man I'd ever met, and I'd be grateful for him forever.

He still smelt like my Daryl, and felt like him, but something was different between us.