Ruins

30

Before I left Siddiq talked me through a few things that could be wrong with Brenda, and what to be looking for.

"Here, I have a box of meds, a few anesthetics and some dressings." Siddiq pointed to the door.

"Sweet, how many sutures do you guys have?" I asked.

"No many." He sighed. "We've been out looking on every run."

"Well my fishing line and hook have been working pretty well. I'll bring some next trip this way." I told him.

"Hey, you ready?" I heard Daryl at the door and sighed.

"Yes." I picked the box of supplies up, packing it into my bag and throwing it on. "See you in 10 weeks." I waved to Siddiq. "You know I hate riding on your bike...right?" I asked Daryl.

"Well, we ain't got a spare car and you ain't walkin'." He shrugged.

"I could take a horse..."

"And why would I let my pregnant wife get on a horse?" He asked. "Y'crazy?"

I smiled at his words and shook my head. I was still upset that I'd have to return to the Sanctuary, he knew it was the last thing I'd wanted, but I had to appease him.

"Comfortable?" He asked, sliding forward as much as he could.

"Enough." I nodded, laying my chin on his shoulder as his bike roared under us.

The ride wasn't as long as I expected, and as soon as I could smell the ocean my stomach twisted, knowing it would be ten weeks until I saw him again.

"Do you want to stay the night?" I asked. "Leave in the morning?" I asked, tucking my hands in my back pockets.

"Nah I gotta get back... It's still early." He gnawed on his lip. I let out a sigh. "Sam..." He reached forward to take my hands and leaned on the seat of his bike, letting the kickstand hold him up. "I ain't perfect." He shook his head. "But I'll do anything I can to keep you safe. It ain't gon' be the same, I promise."

I held his face and nodded. "I'm trying."

"I know."

"And I'm trying my best not to let my pregnant emotions keep me pissed off at you and at Rick for making you be there." I pouted, feeling a burn in my eyes. "I hate to say it but if I wasn't pregnant... This would all be different. I wouldn't be scared. I wouldn't be..." I cut myself off. "I'd be myself."

"You are yourself... But you are different." He nodded. "You're stronger, you're braver, you've been through shit... And you're a mother now. But you're still you."

"I love you." I blurted.

He nodded, pulling me in at my cheeks for a slow kiss.

I smiled against his lips and let my tongue run between his lips.

"How come we ain't done it on your bike yet?" I asked, running my finger over the material of the seat.

"Aye!" He shushed me, looking around. I watched him and laughed. "Nobody's over here." I laughed, grabbing his chin for another kiss.

"You better stay safe Dixon." I sighed.

"Nah, you better stay safe, Dixon." He retorted, making me smirk at him. I blew him a kiss as he cranked his bike, and left through the gates.

Weeks later I had felt confident that Brenda had a hernia, and if it hadn't gone away yet, it wouldn't. Siddiq had told me that hernia repairs could be easy, and I could say the whole procedure out loud, but with a blade in hand and a person in front of me, it'd be a little different.