S U R R E N D E R

chapter twenty

Do I wanna know?
If this feeling flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go)
Was sort of hoping that you'd stay
Baby, we both know
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawling back to you

Jennie stood there, outside her apartment complex with a suitcase attached to her hand while the other one brought the cigarette closer to her mouth. It wasn't a habit of hers at all, there were times though that her body asked for it more than anything else in the world. It may not be a habit but it definitely was a craving, one that she couldn't satisfy at once. So she took another hit the thick smoke traveling from her mouth down to her lungs filling them up completely before she blew some of it out again. Looking down at her suitcase she could see the ticket that was resting there, the number of the flight clear to her but in her chest a feeling that she couldn't quite fight anymore. It was something like having an empty space you can't fullfil. Weird for Jennie for sure or maybe unfamiliar since she hadn't felt it for years now.

She knew what she wanted to do and she was going to do even if it wasn't right. When did she start caring about what's right and wrong? Sadly when she met Lisa and realized that things didn't always go the way she wanted them to. She had only a few months ahead of her to enjoy the woman's company and she couldn't say that she had a problem of that time ending but then she wasn't looking forward for it to end either. It was all mixed up in her head and it was really pissing her off. Maybe after all of this would end she could finally keep her promise and move to New Zealand again with her parents that were old now. That way she could leave behind the life she built as Jane Kim and continue the one that she left behind in New Zealand when she was only 17 years old as Jennie Ruby Jane Kim.

Jennie missed her home that was for sure. What she didn't miss though were all the memories she had made there, all the innocent things she did that brought her to the point to make another name for herself which she succeeded but in an other country miles away from her hometown. Maybe the chapter Lisa would be the last one of her book as Jane, the big finale that she had been looking for for a long time now and couldn't really find. A lot of them tried to be the happy ending of the story but didn't really make it that far. Lisa Manoban may be that one person after all and Jennie was kind of happy that she could end it on a good note but not just yet, the time hadn't come just yet. She just had to be the person she learned to be all those years for a couple months until she could erase all of it once and for all.

Raising her hand to the first taxi that happened to appear from nowhere, Jennie got a tight hold of the suitcase, her other hand taking a hold of the ticket after she threw the half way done cigarette on the ground. "Where's the pretty lady going today?" The man behind the wheel asked while Jennie pushed the suitcase in the back seat of the taxi before she made her way in it as well. "Incheon Airport" Jennie said and flashed him a smile, the driver happening to be the one she would usually bump into every time she would actually get a taxi from where she lived. "Yes ma'am" the old and grey haired man said and started the engine once again, driving away from the apartment complex that Jennie lived, the woman in the back seat feeling her heart actually pounding in her ears.

It wasn't every day that she gathered up things into a suitcase so she can fly miles and miles away from where she was living. She wasn't even going to the States damn it, Hawaii was even further than that. Damn you Manoban, it's all your fault, Jennie thought and pulled her phone out of her pocket ready to dial Lisa's number but quickly stopping herself. Shaking her head she called the number right under Lisa's, a smile creeping up on her lips when she remembered that Chaeyoung had practically no idea of what was going on between Lisa and her. The woman would be the perfect person to talk to about her "random" and "sudden" trip to Hawaii. So she called and didn't regret it at all, Jennie now waiting for her friend to pick up. And she did only a few seconds later. "That's a first, I haven't seen your phone calling me in years" Chaeyoung joked as soon as she picked up the call, Jennie's laughter traveling in the taxi and in the phone.