S U R R E N D E R

chapter forty two

"Dear Lisa,

If you're reading this it means that your wedding day is coming up by now. What is it? Two or three days away? I really can't tell when you will be getting this but either way I'm sorry that I chose this way to tell you goodbye. I don't know why I'm writing a letter when text messages and calls exist, call me a romantic that likes to be traditional now and then when I have the chance. First of all I want to tell you that I am sorry for leaving like that without saying anything to you, I couldn't. I am not quite sure but... I couldn't risk you trying to stop me from doing so. I invaded your life and... I'm kind of sorry about that, I really am because I pulled you out of your comfort zone to say the least. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it at all, but still I can't help but feel like an obstacle that had to get out of your way to happiness.

Thank you. Thank you for making me feel like a human is supposed to feel Lisa. It sounds so cheesy and you know I hate cheesy lines but... If it wasn't for you I wouldn't know how it feels to fall for someone all over again. Because that is exactly what started to happen and you caught on eventually and I'm so glad I got to tell you how I feel before I left. That night, you told me you love me once again and I swear something broke inside me knowing that this would be the last thing I'd hear from you. It was also relieving, very much relieving to know you feel the same way I do in a way. Lastly, I have one more thing to tell you. If I can do one last good thing for you then... Let it be this. I overheard the doctor say something to Evelyn the day I took you back to the hospital, she seemed panicked because she knew she fucked up as well. She is pregnant Lisa and I am sorry I didn't say anything earlier, I really am."

Lisa read out loud and looked up from the letter her eyes immediately locking with Jisoo's who was sitting right across from her with the same look of disbelief on her face as well. This must have been the third or even fourth time that Lisa had been reading this letter again and again still unable to believe what she was hearing. This was maybe the reason why she had called Jisoo immediately when Evelyn left the house, she was going crazy and the fact that Jennie was gone and not picking up the calls was only making it worse. "Pregnant, she's pregnant," Lisa repeated multiple times under her breath and her hands were now holding onto the paper so hard it almost ripped. Getting her head together she placed it down since she knew that this was the last thing of Jennie that she could hold onto for now. "She was cheating as well, she's no better than me" Lisa laughed and covered her face with her palms, letting out a deep exhale so she could calm herself down.

"I know, I was surprised when I read the letter as well," Jisoo sighed and made herself get up so she could sit next to her friend who was clearly having a lot in her plate. Maybe telling her beforehand that Jennie was gone was actually a better idea than to have multiple heart attacks when she would read the letter. At least now she knew what type of situations she had to deal with, one by one at a time. "Do you have any idea who that could be?" Jisoo asked and wrapped her arm around her friend's body bringing her close to her own so she could comfort her as much as she could. She couldn't imagine the amount of stress Lisa was going through at that time. She chose to stay with Evelyn while believing that she had something stable with her and she ended up losing Jennie for that. And now, the tables have turned in the most unexpected way.

"Does it change the fact that she's pregnant unnie?" Lisa asked and her voice almost cracked, her face still covered by Lisa's palms as if she didn't want to face her friend. "I stayed here believing that I had something to hold onto, but no" Lisa sighed and looked up to lock eyes with Jisoo who was completely out of things she could say, there was nothing that could possibly make this better. She couldn't even come up with something, she was completely useless or at least that's how she personally felt that moment. "What am I supposed to do now? What do I do first?" Lisa spoke up again with the biggest amount of desperation that he voice could fit in it, her eyes watering while looking at Jisoo who was tearing up as well. "Let's start by what's more important now, Evelyn" Jisoo suggested and her hands took a hold of Lisa's hand, her thumb rubbing the back side of the woman's hand in a comforting way.