S U R R E N D E R

chapter forty eight

The things she was scared of changed from time to time. There had been different things that she was scared of as she grew up more and more. The one thing that remained the same though was being alone and Jennie woke up with that exact fear that morning. She didn't know if what she remembered was a sick joke, something that her mind created in the night after a long shift and the amount of alcohol she had drunk or if this was real life. Opening up her eyes and looking around her for a moment Jennie had some trouble focusing her gaze on something specific. The light that was coming in from the still opened curtains was hitting her eyes making them hurt slightly. The pounding in her head was still there and she couldn't see herself getting up from bed that morning.

"God damn it..." Jennie groaned and stretched her whole body on the bed, every bone making a cracking noise immediately. Reaching both her hands on the spot next to her on the bed she quickly realized that it was empty, her eyes shooting open as soon as she didn't feel anyone else laying next to her. With her heart racing in her chest she looked around the room, getting up and walking all the way to the bathroom but finding that empty as well. "If I knew alcohol had that ability I would have started since I was 8," Jennie said to herself and almost burst into laughter, the reality yet to settle in her head and once it did she would most likely cry instead of laugh. Changing into a simple t shirt Jennie didn't even bother wearing anything other than her underwear below her waist, she didn't worry of someone seeing her anyway.

Grabbing her phone from her nightstand she finally made her way out of the room, her nostrils filling with the smell of something cooking her heart stopping once again, experiencing again the feeling she experienced the night before the only difference being that she was now sober. "Mom?" Jennie asked and peaked her head before her body followed, her eyes falling on a tall figure that was sitting on one of the stools, soon a pair of familiar eyes looking back at her. "It's just me, is that okay?" Lisa laughed and closed the book she had in front of her and had been reading since she started sitting there. "What?" Lisa asked and got up again, turning her back she went back to checking the breakfast she was making. The strong smell of coffee being apparent as well.

"I didn't think you actually came," Jennie said all of a sudden, the hurt that she was hiding behind that sentence hitting Lisa like a wall of bricks, a weight being added on her back suddenly. "Am I too good to be real?" Lisa decided to be a little be cocky in case that would cause Jennie to at least crack a smile to her, but looking over her shoulder she only saw Jennie shake her head in a disapproving way. "Just a chicken, that's all. Will you be staying here?" Jennie asked right after throwing some immediate shade to Lisa who was only a few feet away from her flipping pancakes now and then when they were done. "I don't have a hotel yet, but I can book one" Lisa informed her casually, turning off the stove and turning back around with a plate in her hands, a plate that was placed right in front of Jennie.

"You can stay here since you came, I'll be at work most of the time anyway" Jennie said and tried to play it cool and tough in comparison with the night before when she practically jumped on Lisa and knocked both of them down to the ground. "You work on the weekends?" Lisa asked curious but shocked as well while pouring a glass of coffee in the two cups that were on the table in front of them. "No- " Jennie said and pulled up her phone. Of course, of course it was Saturday and God wanted her to suffer. She couldn't complain though, at least she would suffer in the best way possible. Having Lisa and suffering is better than not having her at all. "Thank God then, I look way too awful to see other humans today" Jennie sighed and covered her face with her hands, closing her eyes again and feeling the migraine slowly disappearing.

"Anyway, you have some explaining to do" Jennie changed the subject and turned it serious again, putting on her serious face again and looking straight at Lisa who nodded. "First of all, New York? Really?" Jennie brought up Lisa's mistake and mishappen, her lips not even cracking a smile yet, she wanted to bring back some of her old self so she could have some sort of a serious conversation with Lisa without all that lovey dovey stuff that she was dying to act on. "Did you expect me to not look for you? New York was the only place you had mentioned" Lisa answered almost immediately, bring the coffee close to her lips and taking a sip from it, the burning hot liquid reminding her of the coffee she had in New York the day before, a flash image of that girl coming into her mind as well. "Do you want me to be honest? I didn't expect you to even think of me again," Jennie spat out and took a bite from the food that Lisa had prepared, her harsh but honest words feeling like a knife in Lisa's chest.