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"I'm sorry, boy. She's dead."
The death of his father hit his mother hard.
She never really recovers, but Taehyun can see that she keeps going for him. There is still a wedge between them because of what happened back then, but she takes care of him, nevertheless.
The air between mother and son is colder than before. They barely eat meals together, especially because his mother works most of the time. Taehyun isn't sure if she does that because they need money or because she wants to be anywhere else but home.
He gets to finish middle school, but at another place. Taehyun didn't want to meet his old classmates again and the thought of meeting Beomgyu again, pained him. They are living in different worlds.
The world Taehyun is living in is cold and dark, full of misfortune and disappointments. It's not a world his sun belongs in. It would suffocate it here - burn out and turn into a cold, lifeless stone.
Taehyun does not see him again. Most of his time is spend on his studies now - the only thing he was ever good at, according to his mother.
He sets himself the goal of being a doctor. They make a lot of money and apparently, they can get away with a lot of things too - thanks to that money. A tiny, very small part of him wants to be a doctor so that he can save people like his father.
He wants to help the small and poor people, who get trampled on and lost in the illusions of a fair system.
Sometimes he gets into arguments with his mother. Most of the time, the arguments are about his father. Taehyun does not call him useless and a waste of space anymore, but they still clash from time to time.
The times they fight like this are filled with "Why"s and "What if"s - useless thoughts of what could have been. Taehyun hates fighting with her. He loves his mother despite all differences, and she is the only person he has left in this world.
Not to mention that he knows why his mother is on the edge most of the time. She is under a lot of stress. The only thing he can do to make up for his past mistakes, is being a good boy and graduating with the best grades. After that he can get a stable job and ease his mother's burden. He won't be like his father and just sit around at home.
He should've known that life would never let him have an ideal ending like that.
Taehyun is in the second year of high school when he loses his mother.
They have a huge fight in the morning, because she found one of his porn magazines while he was showering. Taehyun doesn't think it's that unnatural for a teenager of his age to own something like that.
He has no father to explain that kind of stuff to him, so he can only go by what his classmates do and they certainly glimpse at magazines like that or look up pictures online.
It's normal to have dreams and wake up rock hard in the morning. It's just that kind of age and since he is older than his classmates by one year, Taehyun is already in the middle of grasping the whole "I have a cock and I can use it" experience. His mother knows that too.
But it's one of the gay magazines she finds, just to make the matter worse. "This is wrong, Taehyun. Very wrong. Tell me why this was under your bed."
"Well, why were you under my bed snooping around?" He retorts stubbornly as he packs his backpack for school.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" She grabs his arm and turns him around. "Taehyun! I want an answer!"
He sighs. "I'm not gay. I'm bi, I guess. There's nothing wrong with that, mum. Maybe you should check the news from time to time, because we are not living in 1970 anymore."
His mother looks about to slap him. She raises a finger. "Don't get cocky with me. This will stop! I won't accept this. Can't you behave like a normal young boy for once?"
"What's not normal about me? I've done my best to be the best normal son you could possibly have! My grades are excellent and I'm going to become a doctor!" Taehyun snaps at her. "It's my business who I love."
Her expressions changes to disappointment and sadness. "Where have I gone wrong? Is it because your father is not here anymore? He would've taught you things like that..."
"He wouldn't have taught me anything! Except for sitting in an armchair and drinking beer!"
She raises her hand but does not actually slap him. His mother lowers her hand again after a moment of silence. "Either you change this hobby of yours or you are leaving my house. This - this gay thing - it's sick, Taehyun, and it's going to destroy you. Your soul will burn in hell."
Taehyun grabs his backpack and storms out of the room, full of anger and tears brimming in his eyes. "Good thing my soul is a lost cause anyways."
He doesn't need to leave in the end because his mother leaves first.
--
He's in his room and doing the homework when the doorbell rings. It rings a few times before Taehyun hears it and before he stands up to answer the door. He wonders who is so persistent with reaching them. His eyes widen when he sees two policemen in front of their home.
"Hello there. You must be Taehyun, right?" One of them greets him.
He shifts uncomfortably under their gazes. "Yes...how can I help you?"
The second man puts his hands on his shoulders with a firm, but warm grip. "You have to be a strong boy for your mother now. She was involved in an accident."
Taehyun feels his heartbeat slow down, almost stopping completely. The whole world seems to freeze and all he can do is stare at the policemen. He's caught between breaking down and laughing - that's why his face just stays blank.
He wants to laugh because every time he gets his life back together, destiny plays him another trick and destroys all his hopes. Is happiness such an unobtainable goal for him?
"Don't worry. We are taking you to her. She's going to be alright."
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Cant believe the whole story is angsty. But i promise its a happy ending cheesecakes!
