Assorted Riverdale Imagines

Toni Part 2

Love. You weren't sure if it existed or not. You kinda just thought that it was something that Hallmark got their money from. Or maybe you didn't feel love. It didn't come to you or wanted nothing to do with you. You know as much because movies didn't show what love really was. Love is shown as forgiving and nurturing. It is supposed to be happy even in moments of stress. But you didn't have any of that. Parents left you as a child, leaving you to stay with your deranged grandparents who have made sure to show how much worth you really are. Which wasn't much. You weren't anyone's best friend or second. At least not that you knew of. And that's how you got yourself in this mess.
Hooked up to different IV fluids and monitors. The doctors had to pump your stomach to get the pill and alcohol mixture out and they are still trying to flush the rest. Your things were currently being ransacked, looking for any clues to why you did this, by your friends. They wouldn't find much. Just a notebook you started putting your thoughts down in, as they slowly deepened. There was a nameless pill bottle and a schedule with it that they will find. You made to know how much you could take to still be there but not feel anything. You weren't looking for anything permanent, till that night. The thoughts just raged more and more. Telling you how useless and fake you were. You didn't want that anymore so you made another attempt of release. Failing again. Toni refuses to leave your door, waiting for any sign of life in you. As if the rise and fall of your chest wasn't enough. She paced wall to wall not bringing herself to look directly at you through the window.
    Sweet Pea finally managed to gather his thoughts as he pieced together more and more information. He found your bottle and schedule and the many empty bottles in your trash. He found the notebook that talked about how left out you felt. But the one thing he found most disturbing was that this wasn't the first time you attempted this. He showed Fangs who also gawked in horror as they bagged the things and got them ready for Toni to look through. Cheryl and Kevin found Toni seared in a chair next to your door. Her head in her hand and eyes closed. She seemed to be asleep if not for the movement of her lips as she whispered a mantra to herself. Cheryl handed her a tea and offered a tight smile. Riverdale was full of death and sadness, but it didn't make it any easier for the kids each time something new happened. Kevin looked scared to get close to the door or even look inside. He had an overwhelming sense of guilt as he was the one who pressured you to come tonight.
    "Kevin," Toni sighed. "I know that face and this isn't your fault. You didn't know. Y/N, she hid it from us so well. We never thought twice because of everything going on. She knew that and that's how she kept it from us. Don't blame yourself. She will be okay. I already am looking for a home nurse to help her when she's able to leave and treatment centers."
    "You can't send her away. She would be crushed so you know how that will make her feel?" Surprisingly, it was Cheryl who spoke as she'd been silent all night. "I won't let you send her off to people who she doesn't know and will most likely make her feel alienated and at fault for her feelings."
     "Cheryl," Toni sighed. "She needs someone to look after her at all times. She's fragile and her grandparents aren't able or willing to."
    "Then I guess we bring her to our house. It's large enough for the six of us. And, it will be perfect if you discuss what we talked about with her," Cheryl remained calm. "It is her decision, if she refuses then I will personally find the best place she can go and even sponsor her if need be."
     "I don't think now is the right to talk about that with her," Toni argues. "She'd think it's pity and something like a dare, so to say. She wouldn't believe me if I asked."
    "I think if you tried," Cheryl smiled. "You can try and the worst thing is her telling you no. Okay?"
    "What are you talking about?" Kevin asked his head cocked. "I am so lost."
     "I'll explain as we walk to find a nurse. I want all of the best treatment centers around so I can do my research. Though I am positive we won't be sending her there, not for long if we do," Cheryl grabbed Kevin's arm. "T, please, don't beat yourself up. The boys are back and they'll think it's their fault too. It isn't a singular persons fault. She just doesn't have the extra serotonin. She doesn't blame anyone either. She's just working on what she has."
Sweet Pea and Fangs gave Toni the things they found, waiting for her thoughts. She sighed trying to put pieces together and understand how she didn't see this sooner. "She's been doing this for months. Months and I have been too caught up in myself to notice."
"Not just you," fangs sighed. "Me too. I had no idea she felt this way. Look right here it says that she doesn't think there's anyone out there for her. She thinks she's useless. And this wasn't the first time. She done this. How didn't we know? How did she let it get this far? Look at her? Did the doctor say anything about her weight?"
    "No... Not yet at least. He's more worried about the death concoction that's mixed in her stomach," Toni sighed. "Since she has been doing this for a while, her liver took a hard hit. She's lucky. Even if she doesn't think so." Toni peered up at them. Sweet Pea was biting his lip and trying to get his brain to turn. But Fangs seemed like he was finally understanding what was going on, but he wouldn't keep his eyes off Toni. "What?"
     "Okay so if you notice in the first journal, there's a little excerpt where she talks about this garden. She talks about these tulips. And she said that the red one blossomed nicely from the last time she seen it. But the pink one was still as beautiful as always," Fangs begins to explain and they both nod not following along. "She says that the garden was something she always went to. Full of different flowers and familiarity. But I think it's something else. I mean look at all of the similarities. Color. Names. I mean she says she misses the Sweet Peas."
    "The garden in the park recently got rid of the sweet peas," Toni mumbled not letting the theory set. "They didn't have the aesthetic or something."
    "Okay... But, how about the red flower blossomed? King's Mantle. As if that isn't a representation for Reggie."
    "It's also a flower," Sweet Pea sighed. "It kinda looks like a horn. Like the end part where the sound comes."
    "How do you know so much about flowers?" Fangs grumbled. "Okay so Kevin is obviously the Keli flower because she used to think that his name was Kelly Keller before they actually met and it says they had some bad seeds this year. Forsythia, Jughead, for obvious reasons. English Bluebell.... Who... Betty of course! She works for the Blue and Gold and you know English is involved in that. Look it's all here! California poppy is Archie. He's wanted to be big and he plays a lot of pop. Come on guys it's here! Look for yourselves."
    "Fangs! You are right!" Toni said finally looking over the pages. "But what do you think any of these mean? Obviously, Cheryl changed from the first time they met. Kevin got mixed up with the farm. She missed Sweet Pea."
    "Okay... I think... Maybe... I don't know. Maybe this can be a Jughead and Betty thing. All of this is making my head spin I can't wrap my head around this," Fangs mumbled. "All of the analogies. I'm really not that smart guys."
    "Yeah,  you're telling me," Sweet Pea chuckled. "I've already sent the pictures to Jughead. Accidentally, but he has them."
    "Right well have come here we need to figure out why she did this," Toni sighed looking back into your room. "I wonder if I can sit with her. I have something I need to talk to her about and it might be easier to do the first time, while she's asleep."
     "They're on their way," Sweet Pea said. "I think you need sleep. Or a coffee. Let's take a walk. She's gonna sleep for a while." Toni just shook her head. "Come on Toni, I cant promise that absolutely nothing will happen while we are gone but you can blame me if something does. You need something. I'm sure that all of the alcohol isn't sitting well right now."
"That doesn't help at all," Toni sighed. "But I know if I don't move you will make me. So if she wakes up while we are gone, I'm gonna take you down a few feet." He nods as she stands taking a last look into your room.
You woke up with the harsh light in your eyes and a nurse replacing a bag of some clear saline. You felt nauseous and had the worst headache. She said something but you couldn't make it out. Your ears were ringing and pounding your brain. You closed your eyes again trying to make it go away and piece together what happened. When you opened them again Toni and Fangs were stood over you while Cheryl stood at the door almost frozen.
"Y/N," Toni smiles at you and pushed a few hairs out of your face. "How do you feel?"
"I don't know," you mumble with a frown. "Everything hurts and I feel like I'm going to throw up. What happened?"
"You don't remember?" Fangs asked and you shake your head slightly. "Y... You overdosed on Xanax and alcohol. They had to..." His voice seemed to fail him as he slowly closed his mouth.
"Y/N, why didn't you talk to me? I would have been here for you. We all would," Toni asks sitting next to you, tears brimmed her eyes. You could tell she had cried at least once already. "I could've done something to help."
"I didn't want to bother you," you explain. "You were all busy, there are killers and cult members trying to take everyone. You have your relationships. It seemed like it would be too much and I didn't want to burden you all with it. And I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize," Cheryl finally spoke. "Don't apologize for having feelings. You don't have to. I know we don't know each other well, but I would love if you stayed with us. Please... I want to make sure you are always okay. I don't want you to feel alone."
"You don't have to answer now, we just want to help you get better," Toni said. "There are always other options."
"More expensive ones," Cheryl countered. "But still your choice."
"Cheryl," Toni sighs before looking at you. "We want to talk to you, Y/N, not yet but when you feel a little better." You frown. "It's all gonna be fine. Do you need anything? I can sit you up if you'd like."
    "I'm alright," you say and she frowns. "I don't need mothered, really I'm okay. I just need sleep."
     "Okay," she nods. "But, before anything else, we want you know that we went through your room." Your eyes had never been so wide. "We found your journal and got rid of all of your pills."
    "Why?"
    "Because we needed to know why," Fangs explains. "And how long. We needed to give the doctors an answer, so they could help you."
    "So you went through my things? What did you find?" Your heart was racing and you knew it was shown on the monitor to your left.
    "We found out how you feel," Cheryl said. "And we don't want you to feel that way anymore. We aren't going to do anything bad with the information we found, I will swear on that. I told them that we are going to get rid of it all, when you're ready."
    "Thanks..."
    "We are gonna take care of you," Sweet Pea said popping from behind the cracked door. "I'm not leaving until you are alright."