Regretting You? » HP

✤ 07.Obliviate ✤

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The times when you wish you could reverse things back to where it all got messed up.
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SEVERUS

I was terrified of letting Harry go. The minute I let him go I will be alone just like all those years. The imitate display of affection a few minutes ago was enough proof that Harry would choose Pansy over me. The mere thought of being away from my guardian all alone only bought a fresh array of tears. I clutched his shirt tightly in my fist not planning on letting go anytime soon. I knew better than to attach myself to someone and now he is going to leave me. I wouldn't blame him as I didn't give him any reason to help me and be my guardian over marrying Pansy. Did I? No, all I did was bully him and make his time even harder in school.

Just the thought of being alone petrified me. I didn't want to handle things on my own. Having dada here these last few days was unbelievable. When I slept, it was comforting, and dada held me when I had a nightmare. He didn't make fun of me when I had an accident. It was my birth father all over again. No one liked me. I was just a freak. Sev wasn't worth anyone's love. Tears fell for the loss I knew was going to happen at any moment.

I wanted to detach myself from Harry and tell him to leave but couldn't bring myself to do so. I knew he would leave sooner or later but the warm feeling was so comforting. The more minutes went by the more fear was bubbling in my belly as I tried to stem my tears but they wouldn't listen to me. Even the soothing circles Harry was drawing on my back didn't help matters as I sobbed into his shoulder.

Harry was starting to get worried. Since Harry and Severus were bonded, it never took this long to calm him down. He was beginning to get worried. Was he truly equipped to take care of Sev?

Harry would not let those negative thoughts flood his mind. Sev was his Little. He was Sev's Guardian. They were bonded. They will work through this like any other obstacle. Guardians could become stern with their Little and demand respect when a Little was having a tantrum or acting out. Harry didn't want to take things in that direction, but he felt that it was the only way to calm Sev down.

"Sev," Harry demanded. "All this crying is unnecessary. Do you want dada to punish you?" As the stern words were out of his mouth, my little self, tried to control the tears but there were still slight whimpers and hiccups which I tried my best to keep to myself not wanting to get punished.

Harry got comfortable on the sofa as he got me to sit on his lap. The exhaustion and worry were clear in his eyes and I felt somewhat guilty for throwing a tantrum. "Now, little one," Harry said, wiping my tears with his thumb. I loved those nicknames he came up with "What is it, Sev? Why are you crying?"

"Y..u leave me," I hiccupped. "No leve. I...I be g...good. Sev be real good."

I tried my best not to burst into tears again but admitting to my biggest fear bought them right back, stinging my eyes and before I could even blink, they were streaking down my cheeks in a steady stream. Not wanting to anger Harry any more than he already was, I kept the sniffles to myself.

The words from Sev stung Harry. He felt guilt seep throughout his body as he looked over at his precious little bundle who was hugging him tightly as if afraid to let go. Just the thought of not having Sev near him made his throat burn with tears. The idea of not having his Little Sev around would ruin him.

I relished the feeling of being in Harry's arm, never wanting to be away from his warmth and hoping that the comfort wouldn't stop. The hiccups stopped. The tears slowed down. Laying my head on Harry's shoulder, I realized they were shaking ever so slightly. I pushed away from him, standing between his knees. He looked broken, tear tracks clearly visible on his cheeks, with fresh tears streaming down his eyes as he tried to keep the sobs to himself.