In Deep Water || JJ Maybank

fifteen

The next few days were a blur. Most of my time was spent with Rose and Wheezie, planning the party or with the kooks, trying to get my mind off JJ. Since the day at The Wreck, I had been a mess. Maddie and Topper were the only two who knew why, but everyone else could tell something was up.

I didn't know why it hurt me so much. It wasn't like things were much different than they were when I came to the Cameron's. Sure, I wasn't facetiming JJ every night, but things were otherwise normal. I think what bothered me the most was not knowing what JJ was doing. Now that we weren't together, was he seeing other people? Had he gone back to his infamous JJ ways?

Every time the questions came to my mind, I tried to push them away. It didn't do me any good to keep going over these things in my mind. Now more than ever, I couldn't afford to be distracted. The sooner I got the truth out of Ward, the sooner I could go back to the pogues.

Tomorrow was party day, and I was actually excited. The dress they bought for me was everything I dreamed of, and it would be nice to just celebrate and let loose for a few hours. Most of today was dedicated to setting up and getting ready, but I had these few hours to myself this morning.

Climbing out of bed, I made my way downstairs for breakfast. Rafe and Wheezie were still asleep, but Rose and Ward were already downstairs getting started on setting the party up.

"Good morning, Sierra. Are you excited for tonight," Rose asked.

"I'm actually really excited," I said, "I needed something to lift my spirits."

"I'm glad you're excited," Ward said, "We're excited to introduce you to everyone."

"Do you guys need help with anything to get ready?" I asked, pouring my coffee into a mug.

"Absolutely not," Rose said, "This is your big day, Sierra. You are not to lift a finger."

I laughed, sipping on my coffee. Rose rushed out of the room to go pick up some decoration delivery that was ready, and I turned to head back upstairs.

"Sierra, there's something I want to talk to you about before the party tomorrow," Ward said, "Do you think we could talk tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, smiling, "I'm gonna go chill upstairs. I'll see you later."

Carrying my coffee mug, I walked back upstairs. After setting the mug down, I slipped into one of JJ's hoodies. It still faintly smelled like him, and it both broke my heart and put it back together again. If I could call all of this off and safely go back to being in his arms, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Pulling out my Juul, I laid back against my headboard. I could see the water in the reflection of my mirror, and it calmed me. This was the first time I had been completely alone for more than an hour since the day JJ ended things, and it felt strange. Being alone with my thoughts usually wasn't good for me, but it was oddly freeing.

Putting my Juul down, I searched through my drawers for my weed. I rolled a blunt, lighting it as I opened the windows. After lighting a candle to mask the smell, I laid back on my bed once again. Quiet music played in the background as I smoked the blunt, thinking about how much better it felt to do this with the pogues.

My thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, and I scrambled to cover up my blunt and Juul. After noticing it was Rafe, I rolled my eyes.

"Ever heard of knocking?" I asked, closing the door behind him.

"Ever heard of not being a bitch?" he asked, sitting on my bed.

"What do you want?" I asked, bringing the blunt to my lips.