"Who are you?" I asked, my lips trembling with fear.
"ANGEL" he breathlessly whispered against my ears."
Angel? Like the Raphael and archangels?" I innocently asked, hoping for a positive answer but my hopes flew away once I heard the words pouring out of his lips.
"SATAN" he retorted while smirking.
___________________________________________
Meeting somewhere in between faith and curse, Can Y/N and Taehyung have a happy ending?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
TITLE: 5/5 Catchy title that already sounds like a mystery.
COVER: 5/5 Nicely composed. I like that it is black and white with only the "rose" in red.
DESCRIPTION: 9/10 Enticing lure.
PLOT: 25/30 While I have said I don't like Y/N stories, I did enjoy your imaginative descriptive writing style. I also liked the quotes you sprinkled throughout the text that brought a succinct meaning to the chapter. I especially enjoyed the parts where you wrote in 3rd person pov. because that is where you described the setting and the feels and actually progressed the story.
If you want to level-up your story, you can always go back and change the Y/N and leave it as your named character's pov. You have a strong descriptive style that makes your story more engrossing. I would stay clear of describing scenes that don't add to the story especially if there are no interactions with other characters. By this, I mean the parts when the mc is taking a bath, eating, dressing, or sleeping. If the scene is not there so you learn something about the character, then remove it. It drags down an otherwise interesting storyline.
DIALOGUE: 8/10 The dialogue is good but you forget to separate with a paragraph when a different character is speaking. If you need an example, just let me know. This is by far the most eye-catching mistake and easy to fix.
DICTION: 8/10 Nice use of words. There are a few things I would edit such as skipped words.
Example: "But his stiff around my hand tightened. You are missing the word 'grip.'
His stiff grip around my hand tightened.
Instead of "How come I will let you go?" I would say, "Why should I let you go?"
GRAMMAR: 7/10 You have a few grammatical mistakes that you can fix with an editor/spell checker or Grammarly.
AESTHETIC: 10/10 Part of the appeal of your book is the aesthetic you gave with your choice of pictures and the awesome quotes that go with your story.
ORIGINALITY AND APPEAL: 9/10
First of all, I have a problem with using Y/N as your main character's name. I can read a book about anyone and find it interesting, but the minute the writer puts the Y/N, it's already taking me out of the story. Your readers don't necessarily want to be a character.
For me, your story is original as I have not read another one that is similar. I found the plot interesting and wanted to keep reading to find out what happens. I liked the ending, it was sad but somehow still hopeful.
Your writing is very appealing because you have a strong story-telling voice. Just fix some of the minor issues by editing. I recommend you use Grammarly.
