Written by wrengi 453 Views, 46 Votes, 15 Parts
For the Kim friends, each day stretches out and beyond in an accustomed pattern of choice words: normal, simple, free, together. So when a maddening twist springs upright in their faces, they don't see it.
They don't notice until it hits them square in the jaw, and it's almost too late. ...do you see it?
｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡
The cover is not awful, but I think something brighter will attract more readers.
I saw a few mistakes with punctuation. Mainly that the quotation marks were in the wrong place. For example: "Okay". Should be: "Okay."
Also, I noticed you use single quotations. Those are used when a person is quoting another in the dialogue, or a quote within a quote.
For instance. "Can you believe he said, 'fu' to me?"
Your writing style is unique but sometimes you word things a little strangely. For example, you say there was a call from the phone. Why not say there was a phone call?
I found it charming how you showed Jin's personality in his various quirks and likes. It's refreshing to see it done so well. Sometimes the little mundane things we do in life can seem so dull on the page, but you managed to make it interesting. I liked how you showed his feeling of being overwhelmed by the amount of social media we bombard ourselves with. Sometimes I can't handle it either.
Your book is entertaining, amusing, and mysterious although a little long-winded at times. You tend to use too many words to describe something simple. With a little editing, your book can be more interesting to read. Keep writing, but remember the magic happens in the editing.
