❝This girl, who hasn't got a secure home and past work experience, will take care of me?❞ He scoffed in my face sarcastically, ❝What a vagabond❞
In which a 'Vagabond' is hired to be a bodyguard of a well-built man, for a period of 12 months but how will a cold-hearted, logical thinker and austere, Jinhee, handle a lighthearted yet a spoilt brat, Jungkook?
2.5K Reads, 410 Votes, 18 Parts
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TITLE: 5/5 Your original title goes with the story very well.
COVER: 5/5 Looks good but I wouldn't have put the words or box over his face.
DESCRIPTION: 9/10 This quote from the book does a great job of describing the plot and enticing the reader.
❝This girl, who doesn't have a secure home or any past work experience, will take care of me?❞ He scoffed in my face sarcastically, ❝What a vagabond!❞
In which a 'Vagabond' is hired to be a bodyguard of a well-built man, for a period of 12 months. How will a cold-hearted, austere, logical thinker, Jinhee, handle a lighthearted yet a spoilt brat, Jungkook?
PLOT: 17/20 Another great book with an interesting plot.Your plot advances mostly through dialogue without too much emphasis on the setting. The relationship between JK and his bodyguard slowly evolves as they don't seem to like each other yet. This is looking like a slow-burn situation in the making.
The plot gets more interesting as we get to know the characters. I appreciate how you made a strong character with Park Jinhee without making her into a caricature of perfection. She has flaws like a real person making her more appealing.
Now that your characters are well defined, try to focus on the rising action and climax of your story. We all want to know when Jungkook will realize she is more than just a vagabond. Can't wait to find out.
WRITING STYLE: 8/10 The writing style is pretty straight forward with an emphasis on character development. Instead of telling us how they feel, you show us and I think that is so important.
DIALOGUE: 8/10 The dialogue is natural and makes sense, however, there is missing punctuation. Here is an example of punctuation. "It wasn't saesangs," I stated. Always put the punctuation within the quotation marks.
DICTION: 8/10 Look out for awkward sentence structure such as: "Your room is going to be the one opposite mine, dad told me to discuss somethings with you last night so..."
"Your room is going to be the one opposite mine. Last night, dad told me to discuss somethings with you..."
GRAMMAR: 7/10 Watch out for run-on sentences and missing periods, especially in the dialogue. I recommend you use Grammarly to check your punctuation. It will highlight where you need to fix something making it easier to edit.
AESTHETIC: 10/10 Every chapter has a picture and a unified look.
ORIGINALITY AND APPEAL: 8/10 Your story is very appealing in that it is every fans wish to be close to Jungkook/BTS and it is told with charm. The story you created is a very plausible way for that to happen. I congratulate you and I hope you continue with this story.
85/100
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